Carolyn and I spoke on the phone usually twice a week during the years she was in nursing care. During these phone calls, I gave myself up to be her eyes and her hands. One day, all she wanted me to do is look up something she heard on TV, maybe on a Dr. Phil episode. After some searching, I was able to find it. She then asked me to type up the quote and send it to the nurse so that they could print it out and hang it on her door. I think it was her way to apologize to the nurses and aides by letting them know that she knew that she was not always joyful and to ask for their forgiveness and support. Being (or attempting to be) the director of every moment of her life, it was excruciatingly difficult for her to relinquish control to nurses and aides that at times didn’t seem to care or that were unable to take the time to care because they were crushed by the nursing care shortage at the time.

“Most people in the world want to be kind and loving and generous.

Let’s not judge ourselves or each other by the worst of our behavior.

When we do behave badly, it’s an opportunity for reconciliation and forgiveness.”

someone on tv, Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil maybe…

I also think that she wished she could have lived her whole life like that with others.

I was able to help her by being her eyes and hands, but she always had the bigger brain and a stonger will.

Susan Giles