Christmas Letter, 1981

1981 

Christmas has crept up on me and I’m going to be as late with my cards this year as I was early last year. And what a year it has been! My usual one page letter will grow longer as I share with you my experiences this year and especially my joys in visiting with so many dear friends and relatives from coast to coast (Florida to Calif)

Last Christmas was a truly unique and fun experience. Bill Giles and I joined the Detroit to Florida I-75 moving parking lot — 2-3 lanes of solid bumper to bumper cars for 1200 miles to get to Florida and visit his daughter, Sue, and the “Florida Giles’,” in West Palm Beach. We enjoyed the mild weather and traveled all over Florida during the 2 weeks we were there. On Christmas Day in Gainesville, as the Giles’ opened all their gifts, I recorded the whole proceeding with my new color Video camera and recording unit. Then Bill, Sue & I went south to Bonita Springs to see 2 of their relatives, and discovered that my cousin, Geraldine Rusk, also of Bonita Springs, and Bill’s aunt and uncle had been close friends (totally independent of Bill’s and my friendship) for 25 years! It’s a small world! And how wonderful, as Geraldine and I talked and visitéd, to discover an awareness and a true sense of “family,” though we had hardly known each other. On the drive down to Fla, I called and talked with Leah Melton (a College Hall friend from Marshall University). Then, going from the west coast back to West Palm, we quickly drove through Clewiston and I thought of Dot and Bob Stacy — but there was no stopping since Sue was about to be late for a BIG DATE for a rock concert. We enjoyed several more sunny joyous days on the beach and a jaunt down to Miami before heading back to the frigid North – spiritually and physically rejuvenated. I could get addicted to that 2 week mid winter break in the warm, sunny South!

This has been “The year of Sue” — and I have suddenly had “instant motherhood” thrust upon me. Years ago I made the offer for Sue to use “her room” at my home, that she has used on visits here for the past ten years, as a base to go to the University of Cincinnati. To make a long story short, On February 1, she took me up on the offer and said, “I want to go to U.C.” Two weeks later I had her enrolled and mid-March she moved up here to start spring quarter. It was great fun sharing her joy of discovery of a whole new world different from Florida, a complete new and necessary cold weather wardrobe, the ballet and Barysnikov, the symphony, and especially the challenge and excitement of learning in college in contrast to highschool. 

After our wonderful spring together, at the end of June, Sue and I started on a 6 week, 10,000 mile trip through southwestern United States. The day before we left, we packed my blue Pontiac Firebird for the trip.  It was jam-packed especially the trunk.  That night Bill Giles and I went to the opera and parked Taft High school parking lot because it was so well lit and thought we were safe. When the opera was over and we came back to the parking lot, we saw a crowd of people and police and a young man in his late teens, dressed “cool, man”, complete with dark sunglasses. He had backed his car into the center of my Firebird and jammed the trunk lock so that it would not open.  Talking with the police, his biggest comment was “Hey, man,they need more light around here”.  The damage was so bad we had to call a locksmith at midnight and didn’t get home until 3 a.m.  After only 4 or 5 hours of sleep, we had to take the car to the Pontiac dealer and get the whole thing fixed before we left.

Our first adventure was a 4-1/2 mile, 4 hour hike through Mammoth Cave, we traveled through Nashville, Tulsa, Santa Fe, Mesa Verde, Colo., and northern Arizona. Especially exciting was a one day raft trip down the Colorado River through Glen Canyon (no white water!). Then we drove on to Bryce (snow in July!) and Zion Nat’l Parks, Las Vegas, Death Valley (120 degrees +) Sequoia and Yosemite Parks, Lake Tahoe and Virginia City, Nev., San Francisco, down the Pacific Coast past Monterey and Big Sur to rest and recuperate in Los Angeles. The homeward leg of our journey began with the Wild Animal Park in San Diego, on to Joshua Tree Nat. Mon., then to Palm Springs, Cal. and Phoenix, Ariz (really the pits in the heat of summer). In contrast, Sedona, Ariz. and Oak Creek Canyon was beautiful, as was Grand Canyon, Meteor Crater, Petrified Forest, El Paso, Texas (and Mexico for one hour), and Carlsbad Caverns and the bats. San Antonio Texas was a refreshing oasis in the eternity of driving across Texas. Baton Rouge and New Orleans, La. broke the long drive across the Gulf to Gainesville, Fla where I let Sue off for a short 6 week summer with her family – and I headed for Cincy to “rescue” my poor beléagured Brownie Bulldog. She had a wonderful home with a good friend, but shared it with 2 other rambunctious male dogs. Bored she was not!

It was a fantastic trip and I loved it – the scenery, the experiences, and especially the marvelous opportunity to renew friendships and visit with family & friends. In Tulsa we stayed with Jeanne Munier and attended the rehearsal dinner for Dean Munier and his bride, Pam.  We left the next morning just missing my cousin, Fred Munier and his wife Robin, by a few hours because no one would admit they were coming.  I was not happy! In Pasadena California we stayed with Morris (Dick) & Ellie Dent. I had last seen them in 1967 when I flew out to a speech convention and saw the Rose Bowl parade. Myrian Baker from Dayton Ohio and my Northwestern University roommate had bought a small cottage a few blocks from the ocean in Santa Monica, so Sue and I got to spend a day or two in the rich enclave on the beach.  She also gave us a tour of Hollywood, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and the sidewalk.  On our swing through northern California we stayed in Sacramento with Bill Lovett and his wife, Harriet, who is totally blind.  They were professors of philosophy at Skidmore College.

On our drive south from Sacramento, the expressway went through a part of the Mojave Desert.  I suddenly slowed down and pulled off the side of the road, then I started backing up, with Susan shouting “what are you doing?” — in 1940, when I was 10 our car got stuck for 3 days at a desert mechanic’s place.  He drove us out to a part of the desert that had this wonderful rock formation — I said “THAT’S THE ROCK!” Forty-one years later an expressway went right by that beautiful rock.  I have a picture of my mother and me at 10 in front of the rock and I got a picture of Susan and me in the same spot 41 years later.

From there we drove south.  At San Diego we went to Sea World and saw the whales perform.  Then on to The San Diego Zoo’s Wild Animal Park.  We got a bite to eat at the park and then drove north thinking we’d find a motel.  It was nothing but mountains, so we finally pulled over to the side of the road and went to sleep in the car.  Little did we know that just a few miles away lived my cousin, Fred Munier, and his wife Robin, whom we had missed in Tulsa. We could have stayed with them!  And so on to I-10 the next morning.

It was a very exhausting trip with all the driving —- and especially the constant daily planning. I came home physically and mentally drained as much as I was mentally and spiritually fulfilled from the trip. Then the 3 weeks before school started were crammed with house cleaning, sorting and labeling the 1000 slide pictures I had taken (I’m only 1/2 done) and stripping and re-wallpapering my large kitchen. I really was not ready for school to start – and 3 weeks later Sue returned to start fall quarter. She arrived with a completely different attitude and I ‘ve had to contend with some of the “typical teenage” problems that normally occur in growing from H.S. to college and eventual maturity that occur about this time, I have thought so often of the many times my dear friends with growing families would write (with obvious envy) — “HOW do you do everything you do??????? I can TELL you how I did it — I did not have children to raise!!!! Now I know! Frankly, I have done nothing this fall but work at school (including UC), keep house and be a parent of sorts. I feel I am never caught up and always tired. But things look to get better. The life of a commuting student – off campus – especially in a strange town is not the best situation and this is part of Sue’s problem. So she is going to move on campus. Fortunately she also has a really terrific boyfriend. All this promises to lighten my load. 

And so my year seems to have come full circle. Last year this time I was leaving with Bill for Florida and so began my year with Sue as friend, travel companion and instant parent. This Friday (Dec 18), Bill and Sue will leave for Florida as I stay here and cherish the 2 weeks alone to rest, renew , and regroup for the year to come. It has been an enriching and educational experience. I am glad I could help Sue make the transition and get established here, but I also have the satisfaction in knowing it is time for her to move on and out on her own. I am reminded of Gail Sheehey’s Passages and feel that Sue and I shared a year of transition, each to a new stage of our lives that was additionally enriched by new and renewed friendships and family, like John and Bonnie Bowyer dropped in to visit in Nov with their son who is also a Freshman at UC. 

Some things seem to stay the same. I still do the photography for our theater group; still teach at UC; still change rooms “travel” & get new courses at Oak Hills; still do make up and attend the Boar’s Head Christmas celebration each New Year’s weekend; still have my farm and camp in Indiana; still marvel at the energy and endurance of my father — now 90 years old and actively attending Masonsic Lodge, driving to Tulsa, Cleveland, etc, and playing 9 or 18 holes of golf – WALKING !! Heaven forbid he should ever stoop to riding in one of those silly carts. 

To all with whom I’ve been lucky enough to be in touch and share some moments of this year; to the rest who have been more strongly in my thoughts because this year was unique and special, I send my love, my blessings, and my hope for joy and happiness, for equanimity, for courage and strength when it is needed in your daily lives. This is my wish to you not only for the Christmas season, but for the coming year as well.