Somehow it has been more difficult for me to get into the swing of writing this year’s Christmas letter, perhaps because it is not as up beat as my last letter about Greece. The fluffy flakes of the first snowfall this winter fluttered down outside my schoolroom window today, softening the harsh, hectic events of an ordinary stressful school day. The snowflakes also helped soften my view of the year – a year of loss and renewal, of illness and recovery.
Losing Brownie last year was only the beginning. Within one week in May my mother’s sister-in-law, my dear Aunt Verno died (that was very sad, but a blessing); a friend of Bill Giles, Mary Stewart Basden died of cancer at age 40 leaving 14 and 4 year old daughters (that was a real tragedy); and the superstition of threes was completed when a student I had just taught the previous semester was struck and killed by a car. Then at the end of September, my father’s 85 year old sister, my aunt Grace died. I am happy to say my 94 year old daddy continues to do well. We worry with each fall, sore throat, cold, or whatever, but he always bounces right back. He even conducted a masonic lodge installation this month, tho he said it would be his last.
Obviously, from the card and the enclosed picture, you already know of one renewal. The ink was not dry on last year’s letter before I went out Dec 18, was captivated by and bought a new English Bulldog puppy – only 5 weeks old. I brought her home in Jan. at age 9 weeks, and began a hectic winter/spring of raising and training a cute but very rambunctious puppy. Her name – Trojans Lady Hecuba. Actually she is anything but a “lady,” but “Hecuba,” Priams queen of Troy – the white witch of mythology – fits her quite well. The name came from the play I directed 8 years ago, He to Hecuba, and my trip to Greece where I experienced Mycenae & artifacts from the Trojan War. Hecuba can be very sweet and loving and I’m sure will calm down with age, but: right now she is very energetic, dominant and assertive. It’s a fight to the finish to see who will be boss. The trainer at Dog Obedience School once told me, “In a contest, Carolyn, You would get first prize – you do everything Hecuba tells you do do!”
All last spring was pretty much like “The Lost Weekend.” Besides raising and training Hecuba, we both were consumed with illness. Hecuba had inherited worms, mange and “cherry eye” from her mother; also had cysts, eating disorders, immune deficiency and sensitivity to insect bites. She went through 2 eye operations and I finally decided there were too many negatives to breed, so she got spayed. I’m happy to say her second 6 months of life have been much healthier. For my illness,
I was overtaken with emotional stress and physical exhaustion that crept up insidiously and was not caught until April when a visit to the Dr. revealed anemia and a stress ulcer topped off by discovery a month later that I also had depression! No Fun! Pills attacked the immediate physical/chemical problems, but, for the first time in my life, I worked with a psychiatrist. It was a very interesting experience and well worth it to restructure attitudes, values, and make some discoveries.
Most of the problems were (and are) job stress related, so now I have one primary goal –RETIRE!! It is a certainty for June 1, 1987 with a tiny thin chance it could happen this June. (Don’t hold your breath.) I continue to coach the speech team, but frankly do as little as possible for a district that has not passed a tax levy in 15 years!!, and subsidizes education on the backs of dedicated teachers who have not had a raise in 3 years and also face increased student and work loads next year. I could tell more, but why bother. You get the idea. Who wouldn’t be depressed!!
After my usual 5 weeks teaching summer school speech at the University of Cincinnati, I took a marvelous, fun vacation with Bill Giles. We went through West Virginia to Washington, D.C., New York City, and on to Saratoga Springs, New York. We lived 12 days in New York City camping out in a tent. We had a marvelous time – including 4 days when Barbara Sorensen flew up and joined us. I had not been back to Saratoga Springs since I left Skidmore College in 1962. So we drove up and spent the weekend there in the height of the racing season, something I never did the 3 years I taught there. Yaddo, Congress Park, downtown & Union Ave., the Spa, the old Skidmore Campus and the theater I taught in – and the old Victorian house I lived in—the memories flooded back. And it was fun to see and walk through the new Skidmore Campus and the Saratoga Performing Arts Center at the Spa, both only dreams on drawing boards when I left 23 years ago.
My year has been climaxed with a wonderful reunion with my cousin Fred Munier, his wife Robin, and son J.W. (Joseph Wadley, age 2 1/2) at Thanksgiving in Chicago. I hadn’t seen Fred in 15 years and for 6 years had completely lost track of him. Last Christmas I played “detective” with the help of the phone company and tracked him down in San Diego. Then K-Mart transferred him back to Chicago in Aug., making a visit possible. I flew to Chicago and spent Thanksgiving Holiday with them. We renewed friendship & talked about old times. We also learned that Fred was being transferred to Richmond, Virginia in the spring, so I planned a driving trip to see their new home in the spring.
I look to the future with much promise; to retirement when I can indulge in theater, photography, sewing, my farm, travel — all those wonderful things I used to do that the pressures of teaching in the past few years have seemed to override.