Christmas, 2004 November 30, 2004
The sentiment in my Christmas card says it all — I am well, I am happy, and this year I truly see beauty in this special season, hoping that you, too, can see beauty and some happiness that will last throughout the year.
Of the many, many cards I send, last year 20 of you never got one (so you get 2 this year!); 30 more cards didn’t get sent til January or after, and the “on time” ones barely made it by Christmas. I was told it would take a year before my two ruptured discs and sciatica would completely heal, and that was right on target. The cause, I now know, was muscle spasms and tension in my back from dealing with all the Bill Giles business and situation connected with rehabing his W. Va. house. That constant muscle tension popped the discs and put tremendous pressure on the left sciatic nerve. It took Nov. and Dec. to heal enough to do physical therapy in Jan. and Feb. and start the slow road back to now being truly able to walk normally.
I was able to fly to Las Vegas for a week in June to visit cousin Fred Munier and family and see Suzanne graduate from High School. She is now attending UNLV; and Joe has been rapidly climbing the ‘corporate ladder’. At 21 he is already a loan and investment officer at Wells Fargo Bank and should become manager of a branch in the next couple of months. For the visit, I was still “on cane” for distance walking and used the wheelchair in the Las Vegas airport. Hey! That’s the way to go!! Coming home, I whipped thru a special handicap security check in nothing flat, by passing the long wait lines!! By July 1st, I tossed both my cane and handicap sticker.
From April 1st to Oct. 1st, my life became centered on helping Bill (who was by now exhibiting definite symptoms and behaviors of some kind of dementia, if not Alzheimer’s) prepare his Ohio house for sale, handle the sale with the very understanding real estate agent, work with Bill and the lawyer to complete legal documents, and handle all the business to get him moved into his Hamlin, W. Va. house and become a legal, tax paying citizen of W. Va. He did all the packing and carrying as he is physically
quite strong; is fine driving, can handle simple building projects and writing well. His short term memory is very poor; he requires most everything to be in writing; and gets very confused with normal business procedures – anything complex and with multiple steps – and with social situations.
I stayed at Bill’s house for one week the end of April to complete all work before the ‘For Sale’ sign went up May 5. Every day I got a 5-10 min lecture on the fact that my speaking and communication used to be so clear and organized, and now I just did not make sense any more. On May 5 the Dr. started him on Aricept and I went home. Talking to him 5 days later I said: “Bill, you sound so much brighter and better.” His answer: “Well, I’m glad you took to heart what I’ve been telling you and started making more sense when you talk!” And so it went all summer. A kind of bazaar, other worldly, ‘is this really happen ing’ experience; not only with me, but with others as well. It was exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining — and I lived on muscle relaxants (Skelaxin) and Sonata thru Sept. I truly have the greatest respect and empathy for Margaret T., Paul H., Maxine R.S. and others of you, my friends who are faced with similar caretaking situations. Now it is Bill’s son, Michael, who must deal with him the next 7-10 years.
Ironically, concurrent with all this, I became a part of a “Reynold’s Grant” research program in my Standardized Patient job at Univ of Cincinnati Med School. This is a special program to train doctors in
1st and 3rd year residency how to diagnose and handle Alzheimer’s patients and their caretakers. We had training sessions in May and August which put me in touch with top doctors and people at the Alzheimer’s Assn. I was able to use this fantastic opportunity and its connections to help in my work with Bill and get him placed with a top Geriatic/dementia specialist at Marshall Univ. Med. School! We are now ‘running the program.’ I play “Tess Clermont”, the mother – age 78-88; my daughter “Linda” is my caretaker. Each month, 2 hour sessions run for each of 3 weeks: wk 1 – at age 78, I am in beginning, mild Alzheimer’s (where Bill is now); wk 2 – is midstage 4 years later; and wk 3 – at 88 I am in final stage of the disease. My ‘daughter’ (Leesa Alford – a wonderful, new friend) and I give the ‘learner’ both written and oral feedback from the patient’s point of view about the process they used during the session. How many times have you gone to doctors and wanted to “tell them” – er, give feedback on their effectiveness?! Actually, ‘acting’ the Alzheimer’s behavior is not nearly as difficult as giving the feedback in a positive, constructive way to facilitate learning, which is our job! I also do scenarios for “Irene Kennedy” and other geriatric interviews; Freshman Medical History interview course, and act as a patient for various physical exams. It is interesting, educational, rewarding work.
In May, my central A/C ‘died’ and had to be replaced, then my computer also ‘died’ in July. I was periodically without email, fax or computer for almost 4 months, as my new HP computer kept having problems. Finally, both the modum and the hard drive totally died – 95 days after purchase! Don’t buy an HP computer (the printers are still great). The only ‘live’ help people I could get were in INDIA!! I finally gave up in total frustration and had another new computer built by a wonderful small business computer company here in Cincy. Comes with a complete 3 year parts and labor warranty, personal service with a top genius technician who speaks clear English — and no foreign help from India. There are some changes in my set up:
1. My second telephone line which serviced my computer dial-up modum and fax line (662-0911) has been cancelled. My fax now runs thru my home phone: (662-5532). You need to call in advance before you fax anything so (1) I do not pick up the phone; and (2) I can set up the computer to receive the fax. 2. My email address is changing to : caruhunt@cinci . rr . com
Yes, I got Roadrunner broadband which includes “free” built-in, automatic antivirus, firewalls, spy-ware, pop-up blocker, etc, etc – to keep all the ‘bad guys’ and criminals from intruding and inflicting misery into my life. Since it is already paid for, I am keeping my other email address caruhunt@msn.com at least until April. Will decide then whether to drop it or keep it another yr.
This has pretty much ‘been my life’ for the past year. I haven’t done any singing since I got sick last year, tho I miss it terribly. Except for my Vegas trip in June, photography has also been pretty non existant. I hope, sometime in the near future, to revive these 2 passions in my life. I still teach my ILR play class spring and fall; and continue as President of Phi Beta. On my watch, we dropped the labor
intensive summer flea market sale, and have added 16 new members, including men and younger people in their 40’s. Hopefully, an influx of more new and younger members will help Phi Beta to continue as a vibrant and useful Arts organization for years to come.
It has been a rough year, but I feel like I have stepped out of the tunnel into the bright light of the future. 22 weeks of beautiful, inspiring music at the Cincinnati Symphony and May Festival helped pull me thru that tunnel and I still look forward to Sym. concerts as the highlight of my week. The future probably holds no more dream trips to Italy or Greece or Alaska or Russia, but I have wonderful memories enhanced by beautiful photos; and I have my gorgeous, comfortable, practical “new” home. My ‘one floor condo’ within my home more than proved itself this past year. It was a godsend during my disability illness, as were so many dear, selfless, faithful and giving friends. Deepest thanks and appreciation to all. I look forward to hearing from you. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!
July Post Script: My last 25 cards are going out in July, 2004. This year’s news will be in 2004 Xmas letter, but you at least need to have a health update. I did physical therapy in Jan and Feb. By April 1, I began to feel “I was well”; but I was still using my handicap sticker and a light cane thru June. Just now in July am I really starting to feel truly ‘back to normal’. I still can’t do any heavy lifting, and am terribly ‘out of shape’. Probably nothing a good regular exercise regimen wouldn’t solve.