With snapdragons, salvia and geraniums still blooming around my house, its a bit hard to get into the Christmas spirit so often inspired by cold and a bit of snow by now. I hope your year has been a happy and productive one with not too many of the curves and disappointments life has a tendency to throw our way periodically. I am happy to say that right now I am in better shape both physically and mentally than I have been in years!
A year ago I was facing an angiogram and worried about a heart attack.. Fortunately, it was all a false alarm, most likely brought on by the stress of teaching my UC Speech class along with all the other activities I keep trying to cram into my life. I was very right when I originally decided to retire from UC teaching in June, 1998; but my dean talked me into staying another year. The good news is that extra money helped pay my trip to Italy this fall; the bad news is that the work and stress connected with the teaching really came to dominate my life, especially Spring Quarter, not to mention trigger the heart attack scare. Spring Quarter was so awful that I wrote a 10 page treatise entitled “The Quarter from HELL, (or) If I hadn’t already planned to retire, this quarter would make me do it.” After my last test, a few good students from my spring qtr class, and 3 from past classes who have become real friends, helped me celebrate with a pizza and beer party at Uno’s. And my retirement became official as the Dean, at the Spring faculty meeting, recognized and honored my achievements for 34 years of teaching at the University of Cincinnati. I am still moderating the ILR (Institute for Learning in Retirement) class at UC, but that is only 8 weeks twice a year in Spring and Fall with no grades, no tests, no stress – and a co-moderator that this year took over the 2 weeks I missed while in Italy.
With all that going on, I took off a total of almost 6 months in my voice coaching, but am back at it now. In Feb. I sang Schubert’s Mass in G; last month did the Mozart Requiem again, and will sing Vivaldi’s Gloria Dec. 12. I do practically no solo work any more. I am secretary for the Phi Beta fine arts Fraternity Board, and secretary of Drama Workshop Board, as well as taking over their history files and continuing to do most of their photography. A trip to Vegas in June, a broken arm in July, and planning for my trip to Italy (not to mention the scorching summer heat that made my airconditioned home more appealing) kept me from getting out to my cabin at camp very much this past year.
I had a wonderful visit with the Muniers in Las Vegas in June. It was a rough year for Fred, as his son, Dean, (42) died from cancer on Sept 28. Because of the behavior of his second wife (Diana) that last month before his death, and especially at the funeral, the situation made afternoon soap opera look like a Barney children’s story in comparison. Diana got everything, and his two sons, Austin (16) and Cody (13) got nothing. They are living with their mother, Pam, now, who is struggling to make ends meet. Diana had bought Cody a computer, but would not allow him to take it with him to his mother’s house. So, when I got my new computer this month, I just shipped my old computer, along with a monitor and printer donated by 2 of of my friends, to the boys. I had planned to go to Oklahoma to the funeral, but was in Italy when all this transpired. Joseph and Suzanne are doing great in school; Joseph is an officer in Future Bus. Leaders of America and Student Council and Suzanne is doing so well in her piano playing she is going to start playing in a band. Fred has a new part time security job that puts him in close touch with many of the stars playing Vegas gigs. He has no idea who they are and could care less while Suzanne (age 14) is just ‘dying’ that she can’t be there and see them. Ha! Yes, I broke my arm. I tried to hold on to keep from falling, and the upper arm bone snapped right at the top. They put it in a soft, foam sling cast strapped to my body — not too cool in July. Barbara Sorensen broke her foot in April, and I was her “taxi” for a month. She graciously returned by favor by helping me bathe and dress for 3 weeks. Actually the broken arm turned out to be a ‘good thing’ as Martha Stewart would say. I was booked to go to Italy alone the end of August — too early because too hot — but they told me that is all they had. But when I called to cancel, amazingly they ‘just had a cancellation??!’ and could book me Sept 18-Oct 8 – with 2 slots. I took it. Then the next day Marienne Kruse Skinner, who lived with me for 2 years 1968-70 and went to Russia with me 30 years ago, called me. “Carolyn, go to N. Carolina with me next weekend” ‘I can’t, I just broke my arm’ “Oh Carolyn, I wish I were closer (She lives in Rockton, Ill), I’d do anything to be able to help you. What can I do?” ‘Well, you can go to Italy with me!!!’ After she realized I was serious and got over the initial shock, and thought about it, long story short, she DID go with me. What a WONDERFUL time we both had. And it was great therapy for both of us. She had just gotten over a horrible 3 years with her husband of 25 years leaving and divorcing her and this vacation renewal was just what she needed.
We went for three weeks. The Globus tour of two weeks was the usual Rome – Florence – Genoa – Milan – Lake Maggiore – Venice -Ravenna – Assisi – Pompeii – Sorrento – Capri – Naples circle. But I booked 4 extra days at a hotel in the center of Rome, and took the 5 day extension in Sorrento at the end of the tour. It was the perfect balance of structured tour and fun on your own. And our cameras were clicking all the time. Marienne took 10 rolls, I took 6 with ‘indoor’ 800 film, and 24 rolls of regular outdoor shots — 40 rolls in all. I still have 30 of those rolls to catalogue and ID. I have recounted a few of the interesting stories of our trip on the separate third page of this letter. When I returned home, I continued my ‘active vacation’ by working the following week as a volunteer boat hostess on the “Colonel” paddlewheel boat for 4 days at the Tall Stacks celebration event held in Cincinnati every 4 years. It is so thrilling to see 20 riverboats lined up along the Ohio River all at one time, or cruising the river on harbor or dinner cruises. I ran 4 more rolls of film and got to see my old childhood playmate, Clarke “Doc” Hawley who is now a retired but still famous riverboat captain (Delta Queen, Belle of Louisville, etc., etc.) On that Sat., Susan Giles flew in from Florida for a week with her Dad and we had a wonderful visit that night and the following Fri. Her brother, Michael, visited from W.Va. in August. Eight years ago, Bill Giles started building a 2 story addition to his little house. It includes a large garage with a room above (the upper room), a storage room at the back with a deck above that, and a cathedral ceiling living room with stairs to a large balcony area above. He did ALL the work himself (except the roofing) on the entire shell with windows and siding, and did a really terrific job. In January, he needed to start to work with contractors (heating/cooling, electricians, other carpenters, etc.) I helped him with getting his new furnace/AC, then he hired a man who was his next door neighbor years ago. This guy stole blank checks from his house & forged $700 with them. I spent 3 weeks helping clear up this problem before I left for Italy, but the construction work on his house stopped mid stream. When I got back, I got Paul Brunner, my wonderful builder and friend, to rescue the situation. By now the money and construction situation had become so complicated (it was simple when Bill did everything himself) that Bill threw up his hands and hired me to take over all his business stuff in Nov. Last year, recuperating, I had time to write pretty extensive personal notes to some of my far-away friends. With my new job as ‘Bill’s business manager’, and needing to catalogue my Italy pictures, you’ll get some Italy stories, and the enclosed pictures (my personal postcard), but few personal notes this year. The 5×7 photograph of the Amalfi Coast and the Isle of Capri (center rocks) at sunset is my special Christmas present to you. May the spirit of Christmas and the beauty of the season be with you now and on into the new millenium.
August 7, 2000
July seemed like any other month in the planning — a trip to camp over the 4th; work at Bill’s the next weekend, then go to Rasor Reunion the 16th; plan and execute the Phi Beta Flea Market/Yard Sale at town hall week of the 22nd and end the month with a wonderful trip to Chicago area to visit Marienne Skinner and spend my Birthday (70th) seeing Sue, the dinosaur at the Field Museum; Pharoahs of the Sun exhibit at Art Institute of Chicago in the afternoon, followed by dinner and going to Ravinia to see Chicago Symphony with 3 rising stars: violin play Prokofiev; Cello play Shostakovich; Piano, Rachmaninoff #3.
Then drive home Monday July 31 and spend August putting MY life back together after working on Bill’s stuff for the last 7 months.
What I did not plan on was all the ‘stuff’ that went on around that skeleton that has served to change the direction of my life in many ways.
First was the series of 4 deaths in 10 days from July 23 to Aug 2:
#1. Aunt Evelyn Brown, wife of my Uncle Glenn died July 23. She had Alzheimers and had been in the nursing home in Eaton Ohio. I had a long talk with Francis Brown, her son (my cousin) the week before I went to the Rasor reunion. It was a real shock when Francis called me at 4:30 Monday. I was trying to get 6 days worth of books and bills done for both Bill and Me before I left for Chicago Thurs Morn. Monday had been a day of nothing but phone interruptions and requests to do stuff from people and I was getting very frustrated. So when Francis called, I spontaneously said “Oh, Shit!”. “What did you say??” he asked!! I apologized and explained and then was happy to hear the viewing was Wed Eve, the funeral Thurs. Morn, so It did not interfere with pre-made and prepaid Chicago plans.
I immediately called Bill Giles and asked him to come in Tues by noon and help me get ready so I could leave by Wed. 3PM. which he very graciously did. He intercepted calls, cooked meals, took the dogs to College Hill and West Chester, ran errands to the bank, Pete’s, got gas in the car ready to go, etc. etc. I NEVER would have made it without his wonderful help. During that time, I managed to do all the books and bills, wash clothes and pack to go. I picked up a flower planter arrangement for Glenn for Evelyn and drove to Dayton, staying at Bruce and Miriam Shue’s home for the nite. At the viewing I saw Glenn, Ronnie, Francis and Doris, Connie and Warren and their daughter. Francis’ 2 sons and their families were there. I got to talk with Cary and Lindsay; also saw Gary Brown and his son Ronnie Lee. The funeral service was 30 minutes of one preacher talking non-stop; then we went to the graveyard for the short graveyard service. I stopped by Arlington Cemetery to view the Hunt/Munier graves and Bruce showed me the grave nearby where Norman Shue, who had died last Dec. was laid to rest. After lunch with the Shues, I drove to Rockton.
My drive home Monday (8 hours with 6 1/2 of that actual driving 420 miles) was OK except for the almost 2 1/2 hours driving in the pouring rain. That made for hard driving, but my new car drove like a dream! On arrival home, I had 8 messages on the phone to go thru. In one of them I learned that:
#2. Shirley McIntire had died Tues Night, July 25/6. I had left town before I heard and was just as glad it happened that way. With most of Chicago activities prepaid, I had no choice but to go on as planned. I thoroughly enjoyed the wonderful weekend — a very memorable CRH 70th birthday Day and Weekend; had I know beforehand, I would have fretted the unresolvable conflict the whole time. Finding out afterward caused me consternation to have missed her visitation and wake to mourn and honor this very dear friend of mine, but, as Mac said, you just can’t plan these things and take them as they come.
I sent a personal note to Mac and a donation to Drama Workshop Scholarship Fund in Shirley’s name.
#3. Then at 11:00 AM on Tuesday, I got a call from Dorothy Carey in Dayton, my cousin on my father’s side. Her sister, Hazel, had just died. I appreciated the call, but did not know Hazel that well and sent Dorothy and Irene, her 2 sisters, a card and personal note each. Well, that makes 3 doesn’t it. That should be it. But it wasn’t.
#4. In Thursday morning paper, it was announced that John Ahrens, son of Dottie and John Ahrens of Immanuel Presby Church, had died of Pancreatic Cancer. He was 42-46 years old. By this time, it is getting a bit much for me.
Gigi and Andrew: Georgette Libunau and Andrew Martyniuk, my two students who have sort of ‘adopted’ me, planned to take me out to dinner Tues, Aug 1 for my Birthday. Gigi called and was sick so she canceled out with proviso we have lunch later in the month together. Lots to talk about then: That Keith had interviewed for a job with Duke Construction and was offered a big job – $26,000 raise, they will take over their newly purchased house, move them to Atlanta and buy them a house there. All this to transpire in the next 6 months. But that means that Gigi will be gone out of my life. Her care, concern and love really has meant a lot to me; and I will miss it greatly. Additionally, Andrew (who is newly divorced from his Japanese wife) is also likely to relocate during this coming year to Sacramento Calif. — That is another very wrenching loss. Andrew came over Tues and helped me with my computer and taught me how to write/copy a CD. He wrote a Ukrainian folk song CD that he had. Then we went out to dinner at Friday’s. A wonderful evening of talk and discussion. Damn I will miss sharing time with this most intelligent man. Losing Gigi and Andrew over this next year will definitely be a negative.
TDW Board was Wednesday night (8/2) and as usual spending the evening with Cheri Misleh was both physically and more emotionally draining. I sure hope I can last the year with that woman. When she insisted that she share the BVA seminars with me, I thought I would die, but had no other choice.
Thom Frushour called me Thurs and they were leaving for camp from Toledo, so I went out to camp Sat morning, visited a couple of hours with them; and then used the time to start work on It/T LM-V VIII roll of film – cataloging it and identifying it. Finished it by Sunday, when I came home by 2 because of the rain. Thom and Mary Kay left Sat nite because of the rain, but gave me the oil painting “Bassman” that I purchased from him for $300. However, Sunday late afternoon was the coup de Grace in all this negative turn of events in my life. First, Susan Giles called me to apologize for the way she talked to me last month when I answered the phone in Martinsville. We chatted superficially while Bill was finishing up something on the deck he wanted to do, and I knew something was wrong from her tone of voice. She just wanted to talk to Bill – and that was fine with me — no problem. I did not need an apology, but it was wonderful to hear the whole story about her attitude then and what was going on with her. NOW her attitude and tone of voice was completely different —- upbeat, positive, assured, happy — exactly what I have always hoped and wanted Suse to be as a person from the time she was in college. Instead she always seemed drawn inward, reserved, perhaps unsure of herself. She has been working with a new therapist (about #4) for the last year and a half; and this has made all the difference in her and who she is. She spent a week at a ‘therapy camp’ in Penn. the week of July 22-29. She likened it to going thru major surgery on her personality. They did lots of exploring of personality, past family and personal issues, did roleplaying, etc. etc. We had a wonderful 45 min conversation. It dredged up for me what I went thru as I worked thru the issues with my father (and mother) and the issues I had to resolve regarding Bill. I was so absolutely thrilled for Suse that she had done all this, and at the same time, from time to time was fighting back tears of emotion. It was a very gut wrenching conversation with Suse, but so wonderful at the same time. I remember, when Sue was 11, and we were driving home from our trip west in 1974. We were on the long boring section of highway through Kansas. She was leaning against the left door of the ‘fire chicken’ musing — “You know, Carolyn, When I grow up, I want to be just like you. A woman that is strong and independent, and knows what she wants –etc, etc.” I always wanted Susan to be that woman, but never saw it until last night in our conversation. Finally it was there. She had kicked Andy out, and finally she had also divested herself of the demons that Bill (as her father) infused within her. My father’s negative tapes still come back to me, but I remember them objectively with disdain having purged them from my inner soul. Sue seemed to have done the same thing with the negative tapes that Bill has instilled within her over the years. This of course is not something lost, but something gained; however it is still highly charged emotionally and invokes a change of direction in life; while it is primarily for Susan, it is, in a sense for me, too.
And then Annette Roth called (while I was on the line with Susan). When I called her back the final shoe in this ‘life change’ dropped. Ann Marie Koukios had resigned as choir director for Westwood 1st Presby Church on Thurs Aug 3. This last year was not a real good one for Ann Marie at the church. Ron and Lowella Storeker (or however ever you spell it!) and Mike Chance have been controlling things more and more; Ann Marie was forced to dig out and use a bunch of simple old war horse anthems instead of the new challenging stuff she had been using over the previous 4 years; they have been working on the floor, etc of the choir room for over a year; the organ is still not fixed; sometimes she and Steve & Cinda do not see eye to eye. In the meantime, Ann Marie is held in high esteem nationally for choral conducting, attending and in some cases participating in workshops and seminars in Calif, Oregon, Detroit, etc. etc. Her husband, Evan can work anywhere with his computer business. So she sees this as a time to get out and move upward and onward. She is around 45-50 and at the top of her game. Time to extricate herself from the petty provincialism of Westwood First. This is a real positive for her. But for Annette and me, it poses a real life changing problem. No way will we go back to Westwood first under some lesser director. The question now is where DO we GO from here. This will take some real research and consideration.
And so, 4 deaths in the last 10 days;, the impending loss of Gigi and Andrew, and the loss of my nice safe church choir with all its wonderful musical contacts added to my empathically emotional response to Susan’s positive leap forward in her personal quest and to the happy fun I experienced with Marienne Skinner on my memorable 70th Birthday in Chicago has really left me emotionally drained; happy yet mourning my losses; a bit trepedatious about what the future holds. From the time I broke my arm in July, 1999 until now, my life has been positive, productive, healthy and stable. I knew it could not last. Hopefully this will not all be too bad; will only be a mere bump in the road that leads on to bigger and better things. I still have Glenn, Bill, Paul, Liz, Annette, Marienne; Lynn Klahm promises to keep in touch, Phi Beta and Pam; and TDW (if I can stand Cheri for 10 more months.) This brings me up to date effective Monday eve. August 7, 2000.
#5. August 9, 2000. Learned today that Mary Lou Koehl, with whom I taught at Courter Tech, died in St. Louis and funeral is Fri. Aug. 11 at Lutheran Church in Reading. She taught Phys Ed. at Courter and was in “our crowd” of close friends that always ate lunch together. Rose Calloway, Tom Grooms, Delores Miles, Mary Lou Koehl, Cecelia Johnson and I were at the core of this group; our friendship and contacts continued long after Courter Tech closed down. Tom and I are continuing close friends, Delores Miles died about the mid 90’s, Cecelia Johnson and I still exchange Xmas cards. Only Rose has drifted away. We all used to get together every couple of years all thru the 70’s and 80’s; especially when Cecelia would come home from Guam. Cecelia now lives in San Diego, Calif; Mary Lou moved away to St. Louis area to be near her daughter Pam and her family around 20 years ago. Bill and I went to visit her in Loveland before she moved and once in St. Louis in the 80’s on one of our trips west. Mary Lou and I faithfully corresponded every Xmas all thru the years. Is it ironic that as I reach a landmark older year — 70 — I have a spate of 5 deaths within a 2 week period????
Makes you think.
I can hardly believe Christmas is next weekend. Time is going much too fast; too much to do, too little time. I am enjoying so much hearing from friends far and near, and look forward to the mail each day. My year has been surprisingly mundane, but very, very busy.
I spent January to April commuting to/living at Bill Giles’ house in Martinsville, Ohio helping him finish the addition to the house he started in 1991, quadrupling the size of his original house. After I helped him get a professional concrete foundation & garage floor and we laid the joists and bottom floor in Sept. 1991, he spent the next 7 years constructing the entire shell including floors, stairs, windows and siding, etc. entirely by himself, getting help only with the roofing. Winter of ‘99 I helped him with the furnace/AC con- tractors. Then, when the local man he hired in July ‘99 to remodel parts of the original house (roof, siding, windows) ended up stealing blank checks and forging them to the tune of $700 in addition to being an incompetent worker, Bill hired me to become his “business manager” and take over complete suipervision of completing construction of the house as well as all his finances. Last Dec. I was lucky to get Paul Brunner, my great builder (now friend) who built my Indiana Cabin & worked a lot on my house, to agree to take on the project.
Part of the deal was that I became a “project manager” of the the job. I planned parts of the job, did most of the purchasing and handling of accounts, etc. so Paul and his workers could concentrate on the actual physical construction work. I also laid 3 rooms of press-in-place floor tiles, stained all the walnut woodwork, and now am slowly chipping away at painting all the white trim/woodwork. (In case you are wondering — NO! I am not doing all this gratis.) Some pictures of the house from when we first bought it in 1978 to its present evolved form in 2000 may be included with this letter.
The construction job was so all-consuming I had to miss a lot of choir rehearsals and Sundays, and drastically curtail my voice lessons. Then in Aug. our wonderful choir conductor, Anne Marie Koukios, resigned. I, along with 50% of the choir, never came back in the fall and I have stopped voice lessons altogether for now. One part of me really misses the singing, but the other part is glad to have the time and energy for other activities that are primary right now; one being theater work, mostly with Drama Workshop. Besides (or because of) being on the Board (secy), I ended up being Co-producer and stage manager of our spring show, “The Last Night of Ballyhoo”. Since August I have been chairman of a special committee enlisting the help of “Business Volunteers for the Arts” (BVA). It is a community based organization which provides consultants to help local arts organizations with specific problems. TDW needs work on audience development and marketing techniques. My expertise is not in these areas, but it is in the ability to assemble a group who is expert, to organize and direct their activities, providing a structure that can then (hopefully) go on without me. I am as deeply immersed in this project right now as I was in Bill’s house last winter/spring. In January I start rehearsals acting one of the lead roles (Bubbie, an 80 year old grandmother) in Crossing Delancey. The play runs Feb 23-25 & Mar. 4-5. Last week (Dec. 7-10) I did staging and make- up for a production of the opera Amahl and the Night Visitors at Mt. St. Joseph College. I still moderate my “Play’s the Thing” class for Institute for Learning in Retirement (ILR) at Univ. of Cin. 8 weeks each Spring and Fall, and am on the Board for Phi Beta Fraternity.
I need to say a word about my name change (old) and email address change (new); and I have a very big favor to ask of some of you. Way back in 1970 I changed my name, legally, to Carolyn Ruth Hunt – the form I use to sign my Xmas cards. This is not an affectation. That form, or Ms. Carolyn R. Hunt, my legal signature, is all I ever use in print. I never use the first/last name form of ‘Carolyn Hunt’ anymore. Long family story, but, unfortunately, it is like fingernails on a blackboard to me every time I see it. The last few years more and more computers and friends have started using the short but obsolete form of my name. I ignored it at first, while always answering with the correct form, hoping the hint would take. But it is not stopping – it is only getting worse. So I have changed tactics to a direct ‘frontal attack’. Every wrong com- puter printout gets a correction call. And I decided to tell (or remind) friends from long ago to new that I really would appreciate your using ‘Ms. Carolyn R. Hunt’ or ‘Carolyn Ruth Hunt’ when you write my name. (Many, many thanks!) Note I use ‘Ms.’; haven’t used ‘Miss’ for over 30 years. In March, 2000, I changed my email address when I had some problems with the old one. The new email address: <caruhunt@msn.com>
No big trips this year. I still have not finished cataloguing, identifying & arranging the Italy pictures in books! I went to Chicago the end of July with Marienne Skinner to see Sue, the dinosaur at the Field museum and “Pharoahs of the Sun” exhibit at the Chicago Art Institute, followed by an open air Chicago Sym. concert at Ravinia. A perfect day, and way, to celebrate my 70th birthday. In Sept., Marienne came to Cincy to visit and experience our “Big Pig Gig.” We had over 450 fiberglass pigs decorated by school children to world famous artists sitting all over downtown Cincinnati, Covington, Newport, airport, etc, etc. It was really fun & exciting. About 60% were sold at auction in Nov, going all over the United States and some overseas. But a lot are staying around town and will become a permanent part of our landscape.
Also, instead of a trip, I got a new silver Saturn LW2 station wagon in May, and a digital palmcorder VCR camera and a laptop computer. Maybe next year after the play is over I’ll have time to really learn how to use these new ‘toys’. I am happy to report that I am in good health, tho sometimes the endurance, energy, and memory aren’t quite what they used to be. Like Dylan Thomas, I ‘rage against the dying of the light,’ but sometimes brutal reality pulls one up short. I lost 6 friends and relatives in 6 unrelated areas of my life in just 19 days the end of July / first of August, in addition to 3 others spaced out over the year. They will be sorely missed; but it was also wonderful to share good visits in person and by phone with many different friends and family during this year. I hope to do more of that next year. For starters, I fly to Las Vegas the 26th to spend the Xmas to New Year week with my family, the Muniers, before immersing myself in theater work with Delancy for 2 months. Brandy and Cookie are doing fine, and I make it out to my Indiana camp and cabin periodically for a little R ‘n R. In fact, Tri State has changed its name to Drake’s Ridge RNR.
Time, like Santa, to steal off into the night so I can get this letter copied and in the mail before Xmas Eve! To one and all, a Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year 2001.
Bubba – Supporting Role
Winter, 2001
“Crossing Delancey” was my final acting swan song. It was fun to do and I had to have a New York lower East side accent. I never copied a movie but this time I watched the movie and copied the lead’s accent because she was from the lower East side. One of the criticisms I got on the play was that I did not have a good accent that was because I did not characterized in the accent like the audience expected. I kept it very soft but it was a good acting and a fine good final acting gig.
Three days of light, beautiful snow and a bunch of ice skating shows are enough to get me in the Christmas mood. Time to touch base with friends far and near. My year consisted of finally getting the construction on my house finished, taking 3 respite vacations, and downsizing my many various activities.
With all the construction going on in my new addition, I just sort of ‘got thru’ Christmas last year. Didn’t even put up my little 3’ tree in the bay window. This year I have the time and it will be fun decorating my “new house”. The inside of the house finally got finished the end of May – 1 year after we broke ground and 15 months after planning started March 10, 2001. It took 2 more months to complete the back porch and other outside details. I held my Phi Beta Fraternity meeting here June 4 to inaugurate my ‘new house’ and held an open house for other friends the end of July when it was finally fully completed. If you kept last years’ pictures of studs and drywall and construction mess, its a stark contrast to these pictures of the finished product. If I didn’t enclose pictures, you have seen the ‘real thing’! I spent many hours last winter painting white woodwork (before it was installed), and finishing the natural wood doors and ceiling in the sunroom. While I was preparing the bathroom walls so Bill could help wallpaper, I slipped on the bottom rung of a ladder and cracked my back on the door jam, breaking a rib. Pain City! So we had to reverse roles with Bill doing most of the wallpapering while I helped him as much as I could. Now the entire 1st floor is ‘Homerama ready’, but I am still trying to put the rest of the house back ‘together.’ That may take a year at the rate I am going.
Three vacation trip respites broke up the year. In April I drove to Huntington, W. Va. for my 50th Marshall College (now Univ.) reunion. It was made extra special because our “College Hall (dorm) Gang” also had our own special reunion. All but 2 of the 10 members, plus some spouses, were there. We got hotel rooms together all on the same floor just like college; we all visited in one room sitting on beds, the floor – whatever; ate dinners together; had our own champagne cocktail party; attended most of the reunion functions and toured the campus together. 50 years melted away and we were college kids once again. So much fun and laughter and love–it was wonderful! I left home with big black circles under my eyes (from a year of construction stress) and when I returned home — the circles were gone!! In June I flew to Las Vegas, spending a week with the Muniers to celebrate Joseph’s high school graduation. He is now a freshman at UNLV, working 30 hours part time as a teller at Wells Fargo bank and will start in their banker’s program in Jan. training to move to a branch desk position – at age 19!! Suzanne (age 16) was bridesmaid in her cousin’s wedding in New York City, so Robin, Joe, and Suzanne (Fred wisely stayed home) stopped here in Cincy on their drive from Las Vegas to NYC and back 2 weeks later.
Then in August, I drove alone to Sarasota, Florida to visit with Susan Giles. We really had a wonderful weekend together and I got to meet her fiancé, Daniel Garceau. The trip down was broken up Wed. nite and Thurs. nite with visits to 2 friends, but I whipped back up north in 2 days once I got back in the driving goove. One year before I could not even face driving to Toledo without Bill’s help because of my anemia. Now I could drive 4000 miles down and back to Fla. by myself!
It is so great to finally be in good health again, having learned through trial and error how to cure and stabilize my anemia with medication. Brandy was very sick from June, 2001 to Feb, 2002. Her regular vet would not hear nor heed my cries of concern for her condition, so when she got down to19 lbs (from 32) I took her to a good friend, also a vet. Brandy had pancreatitis! She is fine now, but must be on a special food medication for the rest of her life. She will be 9 in March and Cookie is 11 in January. Hard to believe. Time is rushing by too fast. And in that vein, I lost a number of dear friends and 2 cousins this past year. As a friend said, at this age, there’s a lot of that going around. They will be sorely missed.
I have cut down on many of my activities, believe it or not! I may participate in a special choir program occasionally ( as I did in Sept-Oct.), but regular weekly voice lessons and church choirs are a thing of the past. The only thing I do with/for community theater is shoot history pictures for a show once in a while and serve as Drama Workshop Historian (I collect, file and store history memorabilia.). Mostly I just attend plays and go to Cincinnati Symphony concerts a lot (17) because our new conductor, Paavo Jarvi, is so great!! I go to F.I.G. (an intellectual group) meetings and am involved heavily only in Phi Beta, the fine arts fraternity alum. group. Except for Phi Beta and TDW history, I am mostly just an audience member with no responsibilities. It feels great – so much less stress.
Oh, yes, I almost forgot. I am ‘working’ part time as a “standardized patient” at Univ. of Cincinnati Medical School. They have a 2 page scenario of a sick patient and I play that role for medical students to learn how to interview, diagnose, and treat patients. It is just a couple of hours or couple of days a month and you get paid for something that is really fun. Also, now that my addition is finished, I am helping Paul, my builder, by running errands around the city and doing some office type work with my computer for him occasionally. Finally, 2 months each fall and spring I still am moderating the Inst. for Learning in Retirement play class. That, too, is little stress and lots of fun, keeping me in touch with many interesting people.
As the year ends, a new adventure is evolving with my helping Bill Giles buy land and a house back in the hills of W. Va. next to his son Michael’s farm, so the future promises an interesting year to come. I look forward to hearing from you with hope that you have had a good year and that the coming year will bring to you joy in good fortune, and strength in any adversity.
Its only 10 days til Christmas and I am just now getting to my Christmas cards and letter. Every- thing is running about 4 times slow these days so some of you may well receive this after Christmas Day. Its the best I can manage right now as you will see. (Its the week after Xmas and I still have 50% of my cards & notes to get out. I have managed to ‘do’ Christmas and get all my checks written by deadline time, so now I can take my time to ‘visit’ with you and even answer some card notes from this year.)
I’ve seen a pattern this year in most of my early Xmas notes: first, news of the loss of dear friends and relatives. Thanksgiving week, my last uncle, Glenn age 92, died as did 2 Cincy friends in Phi Beta and Drama Workshop. Another pattern, which I guess we can begin to expect at our age, is various health problems. I joined this group on Oct. 30, when I got hit with 2 ruptured lower back discs (L4 & 5) and severe Sciatica in my left leg. After 2 weeks flat on my back with 24/7 excruciating pain from my spine to the tip of L.leg toes, my neurologist zapped me with a killer dose of 60mg of prednizone a day, which I am just now weaning off of, 4 weeks later. My walking is very restricted, slow and assisted with a four footed cane. Sciatic pain is present most of the time tho it is now muted. My good friend, Pam Smith, who got this condition a year ago, has taken a full year to recover, and still has to be careful, so I guess I know what to look forward to. At least now I am starting to walk farther distances and will start Physical Therapy sessions the week after Xmas. My New Addition, giving me a one floor condo, has been a God- send through all this.
Everyone has asked: “What caused it?” Nothing so dramatic as a fall, but a year of stress, emotional and muscle tension connected with the “W. Va. House” and land Bill Giles wanted to buy so “He could move down there & let his son, Michael, take care of him.”- on top of trying to ‘live my own life.’ Bill did not have the resources to purchase the house himself unless I helped him financially. Gee, I wish I could push the ‘rewind button’ back a year ago and say ‘No, we can’t do this’ , but I did not. So I made decisions this year, both personally and financially that have really put me pretty much ‘in a hole’ that I have to dig myself out of.. I tried to make the best informed and researched decisions possible, but con- stant ‘surprises from left field’ presented by the state of W.Va, insurance companies, and Bill and Michael kept negating rational research, expectations, and logic.
One cannot deny, putting a positive spin on it, that it has not been an adventure. The house is out in the hills, 7 miles SE of Hamlin, W. Va. where the ‘road becomes the creek is still the road’ just beyond our drive. (Chuck Yeager’s birthplace is just down the other side of ‘our’ mountain.) Built in the 1920’s, it now has 7 rooms — all heated with one woodburning ‘furnace’ sitting in the living room. Staying there on cold fall nights (25 degrees) was like living in the 19th century!!! I can’t tell you what a deep apprecia- tion of our modern life conveniences this has given me! We got a propane furnace/AC installed in Sept., but just this week! are getting it hooked up to its gas tank and turned on. And therein lies the “story of my year” — moving at the speed of W. Va. The house needed extensive renovation and everything we needed/tried to do presented problem upon problem, hours and hours of long distance calls, 8-10 trips to W.Va. thru Oct, etc,etc. I did all this work, Bill did—– and continues to have memory problems, and Paul Brunner, my builder/friend who built my new addition, did all the construction work in 4 separate 3-5 day trips in Aug, Sept, Oct, & Nov. Thank goodness for Paul; he has been my life saver this year.
It seems like 80% of this year has been devoted to Bill and his W. Va. House – like I was living his life, not mine. When I got sick, all 3 of my doctors, separately, and strongly with firm resolution, told me: “Carolyn, you have to forget everything else and take care of #1 – Yourself.” And that is my mantra and resolution, now and for the entire coming year. I have had some wonderful, happy times thruout the year. In March, Annette Roth, her daughter Caroline, and I drove to Chicago, met Marienne Skinner and we went to the Chicago Civic Opera to see Verdi’s “Masked Ball” starring Neil Shicoff and Dmitri Hvorostovsky — with Wayne Tigges in a large supporting role. Annette and I sang with Wayne at the Presby. Church Choir when he was at CCM (UC Cin.Conservatory of Music). He was thrilled to have his friends/fans from Cincy show up backstage to see him — and ignore Neil Shicoff – Ha. In June, my Sheltie, Brandy age 9, developed diabetes so I now have lots of vet visits and a strict feeding schedule (every 12 hrs) with insulin shots. Cookie (12) is fine. She spent a lot of time with Annette and her new, assertive large black puppy (while Brandy went to W. Va. with me) and developed a whole new interesting personality! Also, in June, I became President of our chapter of Phi Beta, a national fine arts fraternity whose members are trained and work professionally in theater, dance, art, music, etc. We had our usual Flea Market in July and decided it was too much hard work for “us little old ladies” for the return on our money to do it again. My agenda for the year as Pres. is to increase membership; so we had a reception in Aug and initiated 4 new members in Sept. — 3 of the 4 were men. National Phi Beta has had men as members since the mid 80’s, but these were the first to become members of our chapter. We hope to initiate more members in March.
I continue my work as a Standardized Patient in the Univ. of Cin. Med School program. Just learned Friday that they got a $3 million grant to expand the Geriatric Study Program, so I will have even more work next year. In one Scenario, each month I will play a patient with beginning Alzheimers in week 1, mid term stage in week 2 and late stage in week 3. It was my work as a stroke patient each June that got me in so fast as a real patient with the top neurologist in that program to treat my back and sciatic nerve pain and problem. I still moderate my ILR class “The Play’s the Thing” each spring and fall, but am cutting back even more on Drama Workshop involvement. I did my last History Photos (shoot the play while in progress at a final rehearsal) at the Sept. show, “Morning’s at 7”, a show I acted in 20 years ago. I have been TDW photographer for 35 years and that seemed like a good ‘bookend’ to my photo career. It is TDW 50th anniversary year, so during this year, I am putting together 6 photo history display boards for the occasion. After 6 weeks of rehearsal in Aug/Sept, the first Sunday in Oct. I sang Brahms’ Requiem (in German) with the October Festival Choir. What a thrilling, uplifting experience!! Marienne Skinner came down from ILL. Oct. 15-18 to go to Tall Stacks and we had a wonderful time, but I walked too much for the physical shape I was in. That next week I went to W.Va for 4 days to work on the house; then barely finished the Oct. financial work and checks, when on Oct. 30 all activity came to a screeching HALT! Thruout all this madness of activity and its sudden cessation, the one thing that has kept me going, and offered stress relief, is music. Besides singing the Brahms, I attend almost every Cin. Symphony Concert. An evening with Paavo Jarvi and the sym. in Music Hall is so spiritually uplifting. I can meditate, relax, renew my spirit and energy, as problems seem to float away for a while. And I can’t end this epistle without offering heartfelt thanks to Annette and to Glenn Coven and so many other dear friends who have rallied to my aid in helping do countless little jobs for me that I physically can’t handle right now. A mantle of snow fell last night, making everything look like a beautiful Xmas card scene, filled with the joys of the season. May these joys be yours and I wish you much happiness and health in the coming year.
July Post Script: My last 25 cards are going out in July, 2004. This year’s news will be in 2004 Xmas letter, but you at least need to have a health update. I did physical therapy in Jan and Feb. By April 1, I began to feel “I was well”; but I was still using my handicap sticker and a light cane thru June. Just now in July am I really starting to feel truly ‘back to normal’. I still can’t do any heavy lifting, and am terribly ‘out of shape’. Probably nothing a good regular exercise regimen wouldn’t solve.
Christmas, 2004 November 30, 2004
The sentiment in my Christmas card says it all — I am well, I am happy, and this year I truly see beauty in this special season, hoping that you, too, can see beauty and some happiness that will last throughout the year.
Of the many, many cards I send, last year 20 of you never got one (so you get 2 this year!); 30 more cards didn’t get sent til January or after, and the “on time” ones barely made it by Christmas. I was told it would take a year before my two ruptured discs and sciatica would completely heal, and that was right on target. The cause, I now know, was muscle spasms and tension in my back from dealing with all the Bill Giles business and situation connected with rehabing his W. Va. house. That constant muscle tension popped the discs and put tremendous pressure on the left sciatic nerve. It took Nov. and Dec. to heal enough to do physical therapy in Jan. and Feb. and start the slow road back to now being truly able to walk normally.
I was able to fly to Las Vegas for a week in June to visit cousin Fred Munier and family and see Suzanne graduate from High School. She is now attending UNLV; and Joe has been rapidly climbing the ‘corporate ladder’. At 21 he is already a loan and investment officer at Wells Fargo Bank and should become manager of a branch in the next couple of months. For the visit, I was still “on cane” for distance walking and used the wheelchair in the Las Vegas airport. Hey! That’s the way to go!! Coming home, I whipped thru a special handicap security check in nothing flat, by passing the long wait lines!! By July 1st, I tossed both my cane and handicap sticker.
From April 1st to Oct. 1st, my life became centered on helping Bill (who was by now exhibiting definite symptoms and behaviors of some kind of dementia, if not Alzheimer’s) prepare his Ohio house for sale, handle the sale with the very understanding real estate agent, work with Bill and the lawyer to complete legal documents, and handle all the business to get him moved into his Hamlin, W. Va. house and become a legal, tax paying citizen of W. Va. He did all the packing and carrying as he is physically
quite strong; is fine driving, can handle simple building projects and writing well. His short term memory is very poor; he requires most everything to be in writing; and gets very confused with normal business procedures – anything complex and with multiple steps – and with social situations.
I stayed at Bill’s house for one week the end of April to complete all work before the ‘For Sale’ sign went up May 5. Every day I got a 5-10 min lecture on the fact that my speaking and communication used to be so clear and organized, and now I just did not make sense any more. On May 5 the Dr. started him on Aricept and I went home. Talking to him 5 days later I said: “Bill, you sound so much brighter and better.” His answer: “Well, I’m glad you took to heart what I’ve been telling you and started making more sense when you talk!” And so it went all summer. A kind of bazaar, other worldly, ‘is this really happen ing’ experience; not only with me, but with others as well. It was exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining — and I lived on muscle relaxants (Skelaxin) and Sonata thru Sept. I truly have the greatest respect and empathy for Margaret T., Paul H., Maxine R.S. and others of you, my friends who are faced with similar caretaking situations. Now it is Bill’s son, Michael, who must deal with him the next 7-10 years.
Ironically, concurrent with all this, I became a part of a “Reynold’s Grant” research program in my Standardized Patient job at Univ of Cincinnati Med School. This is a special program to train doctors in
1st and 3rd year residency how to diagnose and handle Alzheimer’s patients and their caretakers. We had training sessions in May and August which put me in touch with top doctors and people at the Alzheimer’s Assn. I was able to use this fantastic opportunity and its connections to help in my work with Bill and get him placed with a top Geriatic/dementia specialist at Marshall Univ. Med. School! We are now ‘running the program.’ I play “Tess Clermont”, the mother – age 78-88; my daughter “Linda” is my caretaker. Each month, 2 hour sessions run for each of 3 weeks: wk 1 – at age 78, I am in beginning, mild Alzheimer’s (where Bill is now); wk 2 – is midstage 4 years later; and wk 3 – at 88 I am in final stage of the disease. My ‘daughter’ (Leesa Alford – a wonderful, new friend) and I give the ‘learner’ both written and oral feedback from the patient’s point of view about the process they used during the session. How many times have you gone to doctors and wanted to “tell them” – er, give feedback on their effectiveness?! Actually, ‘acting’ the Alzheimer’s behavior is not nearly as difficult as giving the feedback in a positive, constructive way to facilitate learning, which is our job! I also do scenarios for “Irene Kennedy” and other geriatric interviews; Freshman Medical History interview course, and act as a patient for various physical exams. It is interesting, educational, rewarding work.
In May, my central A/C ‘died’ and had to be replaced, then my computer also ‘died’ in July. I was periodically without email, fax or computer for almost 4 months, as my new HP computer kept having problems. Finally, both the modum and the hard drive totally died – 95 days after purchase! Don’t buy an HP computer (the printers are still great). The only ‘live’ help people I could get were in INDIA!! I finally gave up in total frustration and had another new computer built by a wonderful small business computer company here in Cincy. Comes with a complete 3 year parts and labor warranty, personal service with a top genius technician who speaks clear English — and no foreign help from India. There are some changes in my set up:
1. My second telephone line which serviced my computer dial-up modum and fax line (662-0911) has been cancelled. My fax now runs thru my home phone: (662-5532). You need to call in advance before you fax anything so (1) I do not pick up the phone; and (2) I can set up the computer to receive the fax. 2. My email address is changing to : caruhunt@cinci . rr . com
Yes, I got Roadrunner broadband which includes “free” built-in, automatic antivirus, firewalls, spy-ware, pop-up blocker, etc, etc – to keep all the ‘bad guys’ and criminals from intruding and inflicting misery into my life. Since it is already paid for, I am keeping my other email address caruhunt@msn.com at least until April. Will decide then whether to drop it or keep it another yr.
This has pretty much ‘been my life’ for the past year. I haven’t done any singing since I got sick last year, tho I miss it terribly. Except for my Vegas trip in June, photography has also been pretty non existant. I hope, sometime in the near future, to revive these 2 passions in my life. I still teach my ILR play class spring and fall; and continue as President of Phi Beta. On my watch, we dropped the labor
intensive summer flea market sale, and have added 16 new members, including men and younger people in their 40’s. Hopefully, an influx of more new and younger members will help Phi Beta to continue as a vibrant and useful Arts organization for years to come.
It has been a rough year, but I feel like I have stepped out of the tunnel into the bright light of the future. 22 weeks of beautiful, inspiring music at the Cincinnati Symphony and May Festival helped pull me thru that tunnel and I still look forward to Sym. concerts as the highlight of my week. The future probably holds no more dream trips to Italy or Greece or Alaska or Russia, but I have wonderful memories enhanced by beautiful photos; and I have my gorgeous, comfortable, practical “new” home. My ‘one floor condo’ within my home more than proved itself this past year. It was a godsend during my disability illness, as were so many dear, selfless, faithful and giving friends. Deepest thanks and appreciation to all. I look forward to hearing from you. Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!
July Post Script: My last 25 cards are going out in July, 2004. This year’s news will be in 2004 Xmas letter, but you at least need to have a health update. I did physical therapy in Jan and Feb. By April 1, I began to feel “I was well”; but I was still using my handicap sticker and a light cane thru June. Just now in July am I really starting to feel truly ‘back to normal’. I still can’t do any heavy lifting, and am terribly ‘out of shape’. Probably nothing a good regular exercise regimen wouldn’t solve.
CAREER OBJECTIVE: Part time employment, using my past experiences in teaching, Speech
Communication, drama and English, organizational, educational and financial fields or any
allied professional fields requiring personal communication and organizational skills.
CURRENT: University of Cincinnati Medical School – Center for Competency and Development
Assessment (CCDA). Work as a Standardized Patient in training and testing Medical Students
Freshmen through 3rd year resident doctors in various medical skills: taking patient history, geriatric & Alzheimer’s situations, physicals exams, etc. etc. We create the patient according to
a pre-written scenario, then give the learners both written and oral feedback within the criteria
and objectives of the learning situation. 1995- current
University of Cincinnati: Institute for Learning in Retirement (ILR): (volunteer) Moderator
for class entitled: The Play’s the Thing. I manage the class, select and procure plays,
guide the play readings and discussions. Fall and Spring quarters, 1996 to present.
Phi Beta Fine Arts Fraternity: Member of the governing board since 1995; 2 years treasurer,
5 years recording secretary, 2 years (currently) President.
TEACHING EXPERIENCE:
1966 thru 1999: University of Cincinnati, Adj. Asst. Professor, Evening College; teaching Effective
Speaking classes; also persuasion and group discussion. Nominating Committee, 3 years;
Affirmative Action Committee, 3 years.
1988 – 1992: University of Cincinnati, Adj. Instructor in Communication, Communication Arts Dept;
taught Fundamentals of Speech, Expository Speaking, and Persuasive Speaking.
1972 – 1986 Oak Hills High School: (move to resume, next page.)
Lots of snow, cold, Christmas lights and cards coming in the mail are finally moving me to get my Christmas letter written and my own cards in the mail. I always look forward to hearing from dear friends far and near about your activities and life events over the past year.
I don’t have much to report this year. Basically, its just been a normal year, whatever “normal” might mean.
After thoroughly enjoying Christmas last year, some problems again arose with Bill, and in Jan. I “hit a brick wall.” The stress of the last 2 years dealing with Bill and getting him ensconced in his “new” W. Va. home caught up with me. Within 2 weeks I knew I was in depression and immediately got myself to my psychiatrist and therapist for a regimen of prosac and talk that soon brought me back to normal.
I have not done anything very spectacular this year: no travels, no longer Pres. of Phi Beta, no photography. And after 10 years of teaching with the Univ of Cin. Institute for Learning in Retirement (ILR), I got special recognition, a 10 year certificate — and decided that was a nice round number on which to retire from that volunteer job.
Besides, it was conflicting with my paying job as a standardized patient (SP) at the UC Med School. That is not only increasing in number of hours, but their mantra seems to be “Thank you for being flexible.” Scheduled work hours can be very erratic. On May 12, they instituted a new program (SPI) and on May 26, I started a 10 week training program during the summer to become a Standardized Patient Instructor. Fresh. & Soph. Med students take a class which trains them in Techniques of Physical Examination of Patients. SPI’s are replacing practicing doctors (preceptors) in the small group training labs; then just a few teaching doctors monitor about 4 rooms each to help SPI’s answer advanced medical questions,
etc. when necessary. We are both the ‘body’/patient to be examined as well as the Instructor to guide and facilitate their learning proper exam techniques. I also continue to do the medical interview and Alzheimer’s projects which I described in last year’s letter.
This is a really fascinating job and I have learned so much!!! I have also caught 3 health problems to take to my own doctor and nip in the bud. I truly feel lucky and very blessed to be involved in this wonderful program and really love the work. The back and sciatica problems which I had 2 years ago are now healed, but I do have to treat the back with great care. I am happy to report that, after a 2 year hiatus, I am doing some choral singing again. Sang with the October Festival Choir (Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms a Verdi opera chorus, etc on program) and with a production of Messiah on Dec. 5. In Sept., my Sheltie, Brandy, went blind and Cookie (toy poodle) went deaf. I marvel at how well Brandy has learned to cope, but Cookie is sometimes a handful since she can no longer respond to voice commands.
In this blessed season I give thanks for all my dear friends. As that bugaboo “age” creeps up on us, insidiously making it more difficult to do certain physical and mental tasks, so many dear friends have quietly and with good grace stepped in to fill those gaps. Especially Annette,
Leesa, Paul, Glenn, Pat, Liz for starters; and the list goes on with other most deserving but unnamed friends.
Hope all is well with you and yours. A very Merry Christmas and wishing you a truly Happy and Healthy New Year.
December 28, 2005
And SUDDENLY IT WAS CHRISTMAS!!!!!! It seems that time goes by so much faster, and I move much more slowly!! Much less gets done each day than it used to. This Christmas I concentrated on my outside lights, making them simple, but very pretty and especially easy to put up and take down. I ended up doing that at the expense of my usual mantle display and even getting lights on my inside tree. In the next few weeks, I will take my time putting on strands of lights on my little 4 ft. artificial tree – permanently, so it will be all ready for next year’s Xmas.
Christmas eve, I had dinner for Annette Roth and her two children (Caroline 19, and Jack, 21) and Glenn Coven. We have much fun, and then Glenn and I were able this year to go to the 9:00 Xmas Eve service at Hyde Park Meth Church. Since Glenn usually works til 5 on Dec 24, it has been
hard for us to have the dinner and get to the church service. This year, hurrah, he only had to work til 2, and we had a wonderful relaxed evening of dinner, gifts and church. (We did not make it last year because we had 14 inches of snow on Christmas eve, the service was cancelled and we had our Christmas Eve dinner on Sunday eve, Dec. 26!!!!)
After preparing for all that, on Christmas Day I was wiped out; but had dinner at Pam and Ruf Smith’s in the evening. This is my usual Xmas ritual. The last 2 days I had to “do the bills” for Giles and me; so now I can concentrate on the cards and letters. Sorry they are late, but certainly
the thought is there. I just do what I can, when I can, and just do not get stressed out about it.
December 9, 2006
One of the things I love most about the Christmas Season is touching base with and hearing from friends near and far. My life has been pretty uneventful this year. I had a 6 months health tune-up, lost too many friends, acquaintances, and a relative, and got a wonderful new Eng. Bulldog.
As some of you may already know, March thru August I went thru what I called my 75,000 mile (for age 75) tune up. March and April I had tests that culminated in a breast biopsy operation – that came out perfectly clear. The bronchostomy with the operation destroyed a back tooth so I had
to get a dental crown at the same time I was getting more tests for my back in May and June. Found a good doctor for that; however, the good news is I won the Osteoporosis battle (no spinal fractures) only, bad news, to lose the disc war. My spinal discs are compressing (minus 2 in. upper spine from kyphosis) and in lower back rupturing and compressing (minus 2 more inches in lumbar region). There is no cure or operation, or anything to solve the problem. Just live with it and buy new clothes if I can find them to fit.
July and August I had cataract surgery, dealing with as many as 7 different eye drops a day on different times and doses, including a negative reaction to one drug not found for 4 weeks. It was a stressful 6 weeks where I didn’t do much but eat, do necessities, care for dogs and me. During my first eye operation, Brandy got real sick, her kidneys shutting down & I thought I might be operating hospice. I had to constantly change her food, give her gourmet cooked rice and $5 a lb chicken breast, etc. On Mon before my 2nd eye operation Aug 1, Cookie got an abscessed tooth, so she was getting her operation the same time I was getting mine. She is fine now, but totally toothless along with being deaf. On July 29 I got an opportunity to get a 2 yr old fully housebroken, trained, loving English Bulldog. Some of you will say I was out of my mind in my ‘overmedicated’ state, and maybe I was, but I did it and I am not sorry. She is a dear dog (Coco) and Brandy truly is, at 12 3/4 yrs, diabetic, blind, and pancreatitis, on her last legs, tho she has perked up unbelievably since Coco’s arrival. Gotten a 2nd wind. “The Pack” only took a few days to start getting along just fine. Sometimes it is a circus, but it is fun and funny.
This has been a brutal year for losing people I know. Besides 2 very good friends, Harold Cooley (46) in Jan & Roger Grooms (70) end of April, I learned of or lost six people in one week the first of June. One of those 6 was the 50 year old (first) son of my cousin Fred Munier, & half brother to Joe & Suzanne. He was a Col. in the Army in Afghanistan. Came home for a 2 week leave, spent a wonderful day in Dallas with his brother before boarding a military plane for non-stop back to Afghanistan. When he got off the plane, he collapsed on the tarmac with a blood clot; was put on a medivac to Germany; but they could not save him. They flew him to New Jersey where his wife and daughter saw him, then they pulled the plug. 2 Marshall Coll. friends both lost their husbands (5/11 & 6/1); a Drama Workshop friend I had known for over 40 years & 2 Phi Betas were the others. A month later I lost 3 friends the first part of July, and 3 more the end of Sept. Just this past week, 3 more friends passed. That makes 18!!! I guess we are at a time in our lives when we can expect this, but I cannot, like 2 of my men friends, just flip it off like that’s the way it is. I feel and grieve them all.
On a happier note, my eyes are fine and I no longer have to wear glasses for distance vision; only for reading/closeup. I am still working as an SPI at med school, tho some belt tightening in their budget has resulted in 20% fewer hours this year. Symphony, Opera, Playhouse, and some community theater plays, museums, listening to CD,s and reading keep me entertained. I have done some singing (Mozart Requiem in Oct.) some sewing (a fleece hospital gown to keep me warm in those cold exam rooms at med school; and have to do more with my developing weird body structure) & some photography, including
learning how to use 2 new digital cameras. The farthest I have traveled is 7 trips to my Indiana camp this year, the Rasor reunion in New Madison, OH in July, and a trip to Dayton to see Rijksmuseum/Rembrandt of Amsterdam art exhibit in Nov.
In other family news, Joe Munier, at age 23, is branch manager of the largest Wells Fargo branch office in Las Vegas; and at the same time is still supervising manager of his former grocery store branch while the female manager is on maternity leave. Needless to say, he does not have much of a personal life, but loves his work. Suzanne has become a loan officer on desk at another Wells Fargo branch, and she is engaged to be married ( Sept. 2008) . Oh, yes, also they both are taking 1 or 2 college classes a quarter working toward their college degree! They and Robin plan on visiting me in June after Robin’s PTA convention in St. Louis. Robin is President of the Nevada State PTA, and Admin. Asst. to Lois Tarkanian, (yes, wife of THAT UNLV coach) on Las Vegas City Council, working 60 -70 hrs a week, so Fred hardly ever sees her. But she, too, just loves what she is doing.
Leesa, Annette Roth, Glenn, Paul, some neighbors and other friends have looked after me, and been wonderful help during my tune-up and other times I need help carrying stuff, etc. I am so blessed to have these dear friends. I hope all is well with you and your family and that you are blessed with good health and happiness; or with the strength and courage to weather the disappointments & vagaries of our advancing years.
November 29, 2007
It’s the day after Thanksgiving and here in Cincy I woke up to snow this morning. Ten days ago, in mid November and 6 weeks late, trees were still in full Green leaf! Then suddenly, in a day, they turned to peak color (3 or 4 weeks late) and were just gorgeous for only 3 days before a weather system of cold wind and rain brought us closer (but still a week or 2 late) to seasonal reality of mostly bare trees. And yet, here and there, a few trees are still in full green leaf, kissed with “white shadows” of light snow. ——And by now, a week later, we have truly caught up with the seasonal norm, after a short 16 day fall.
I just finished “reading thru” last year’s Xmas notes and letters. There was a recurring theme of the various problems of aging: of loss, of aches and pains, of slowing down, even of no cards sent, or received in March or later, ‘because couldn’t get to it’ in Dec. (I know I’ve been guilty of that!). That’s OK! I just love hearing from you—-Whenever—to grieve loss and aging problems and to rejoice in happiness’s. Like Marg. Taylor: after years of caring for your beloved Dorsey and then losing him in June, you take a Christmas trip to New York City. What a wonderful, happy experience. One you richly deserved!
After spending most of the time the first half of the year working, in June my SPI work ended. The department budget cuts I referred to in my letter last year hit me. The contracts of a bunch of us “elderly” SPI’s in our 70’s (at $25.00 an hr.) were ‘non-renewed’ and replaced with younger people @ $15 an hr. I loved the work (and of course needed the money!), but don’t miss the work environment as it has developed under this new, much less trained and qualified Dept. Director. I keep in touch because Leesa Alford (50) is still there. Like I, she loves the work and the money, but deplores the situation and deterioration of parts of the program.
Loss of my paying job was immediately replaced in June when, after a 2 year hiatus, I once more became President of Phi Beta. It was good replacing one activity with another. In Sept I tried once again to sing in the October Festival Choir, since they were doing Camina Burana, a favorite I had always wanted to sing. It was fun to attend and sing in the rehearsals, but I had to miss a key rehearsal to take dogs to the Vet. I knew then I could no longer “cut it” to be a professional positive contributor in time for the perfor mance. – So I attended and listened instead. That’s what I mostly do these days – at plays, at symphony (full season) and at other arts events.
In October to mid Nov. Suzanne Farrell, world famous ballerina and Kennedy Center honoree, spent a month in Cincy working with our Cincy Ballet. She is a native of Cincinnati, has family and friends here, and as such was given a special Tribute Reception. In 1967, her friends in our Cincy Phi Beta Chapter installed her as a National Patron Phi Beta. It was thrilling, as current Phi Beta chapter president, to present her with a bouquet of our yellow roses at the Tribute, and later in the week to chat with her about New York City and Saratoga Springs in the 60’s after a ballet rehearsal. Who knew, as I sat in the audience in NYC 40 years ago, watching her beautiful magical dancing with Edward Villella, Jacques d’Amboise, et al, that our paths would cross this way.
After the deluge of losing over 20 friends, family, and acquaintances in 2006, I am happy to say this has been a much quieter, more normal year. One major loss was the passing in mid September of John Leman, the choral director of Cincinnati International Chorale responsible for my many European Choir trips in the 90’s. He had valiently fought MS for over 20 years, but ironically, as he put it, it was leukemia that ‘got me’ in the end.
I attended his Memorial Service on Sat. Oct. 20 at CCM. Corbett Auditorium. It was absolutely awesome. Besides the CCM Chamber and Philharmonic Choirs on stage, there was an audience of over 600 from all over the U.S., made up mostly of professional singers and musicians. When that assemblage belted out “For All the Saints”, those first 4 notes just hit you in the solar plexus. I know, if John were waiting at the Pearly Gates, we just blew them wide open for him to stride in past God, St. Peter and all the Angels. The service concluded with everyone singing from a provided score of “How Lovely are Thy Dwelling…” from Brahms Requium.—in German! It sounded like a professional choir that had rehearsed for days. One speaker said it was the first time he had ever heard the audience louder, stronger and better than the professional choir on stage. And it was wonderful to meet and renew friendships with our ‘choir buddies’ at the reception afterward–especially Peggy & Paul, and Karl from Dayton, and Mitzi from San Francisco.
My friend, Glenn Coven, spent the year growing his own snowy white hair and beard to play Santa Claus this December (He has several ‘gigs’). When he came over for me to shoot pictures, I donned his jacket, had a Santa Claus outfit for Cookie, and he got a Xmas picture of me with dogs. I can’t believe the miracle of Brandy. Despite Diabetes, Pancreatitis, and blindness, she continues to beat the odds of Sheltie life expectancy. In fact, after being treated for an infection last month, she is livelier and better than she has been in several years! She is the energizer bunny – going and going and going. Maybe its because I take such good care of her. A friend recently told me that back in 1977, some one said ” When I die, I want to come back as one of Carolyn’s dogs!” Ha.
Cookie, despite blind, deaf and no teeth, has an uncanny internal clock. She yap-yaps me awake every morning at 7:30; and also announces feeding time at 9 each morning and evening. Coco is a sweetie pie who loves to run, run, run. At the dog park last week she ran practically non stop for 30 minutes! And she loves to play basketball, which she runs and controls within bounds of my large back driveway. Larger beach balls are even more fun, but unfortunately, as she tries to hold and control the ball, her claws dig in – and POP! Trying to catch water from the hose is a fun time on a hot summer day. Needless to say, getting Coco was one of the best decisions I ever made.
In the absence of my own family, I continue to be thankful for my many wonderful and helpful friends. I look forward to hearing from you and hope you will be blessed with mostly positive events and experiences in the coming year of 2008.
December 6, 2008
Greetings of the season to you. I do hope this has been an acceptably good year for you in spite of the national gloom and doom of recession; in spite of the usual losses and adversities we all must face. After 2 or 3 years of “normal humdrum” living, this has been a year of adventurous events filled with fun, nostalgia and deep personal meaning intermingled with my own losses and adversities.
In February, after 4 years of ‘not talking to me’, (even though I was handling all his business as power of Atty) Bill Giles asked me to come to W. Va. and talk. And so from March till now began a journey of commuting to W. Va. (500 mi. +/- each trip) to help Bill with doctors and other activities. He has progressively become unable to deal with things himself as his memory is slowly deteriorating. Physically, he appears healthy, but has aortic stenosis (75% + blockage with no symptoms). He could drop dead at any time, but stubbornly refuses to do what it takes to get the much needed aortic valve replacement operation. After a month of doctor visits in May/June, I drove Bill down to his daughter Susan’s home near Gainesville, Fla..
We took a ‘side trip’ thru Spartanburg, S.C. so I could visit Converse College, my first college teaching job 1956-7. While the campus has expanded 4 or 5 times its original size, Wilson Hall, the site of my theater, was like a time warp. Besides new seats and a lighting booth window in the back, it looked almost exactly
the same as it did 52 years ago!!! I was truly blown away. I could have walked out of the prop room and paint room yesterday. Then on to Florida.
While Sue drove Bill on down to West Palm area to see his brother, I got to spend 5 wonderful days at her High Springs home, chilling out with no cares or worries – just reading books. We drove home to Cincy, went to the opera, then out to our Indiana camp to visit friends before I took him home to W. Va. A really wonderful trip & vacation, except for its end. My Saturn broke a strut at our expressway exit in
Huntington, and that triggered a 5 day “Chevy Chase comedy” ending to our vacation. I could write a book! Details available if you want a good “Oh No?!!” laugh.
July and August belonged to me – the Rasor reunion & Brown family visits, the opera, and (oh yes!) board meetings for Phi Beta. When they again made me president, I warned that I wasn’t sure I could do it justice—better have a backup plan—and that necessity came true.
My cousin Fred Munier’s daughter Suzanne got married on Sun. Aug 31 in Las Vegas. I did not want to fly and my good friend, Annette Roth, said: “I’ve always wanted to go to Las Vegas.”—so we drove out. In Kansas a 19th cent. windmill, farm house and barn sat amid a breathtakingly ginormous & beautiful 21st cent windmill farm. We were in Denver the Sat before Democratic Convention observing swat teams training on the Capital Mall. Annette wore her Obama hat, and a delegate from Cincy parked next to our car at the motel.. The opera had closed for the season at Central City, but I got a peek at the auditorium & enjoyed the mining museum & art show across the street. Dozens of citizens of all ages crowded the roads north of Boulder jogging and riding bikes as we drove to Rocky Mtn Nat’l Park. It was spectacular, cold in August with heavy snow flurries at one point, and we saw a large bull moose grazing on bushes as we left the park. We drove south over high treacherous mountains in a driving rain as tor nados broke out south of Denver. I-70 over the Rockies took us to the red rock country of Utah: Colorado Nat’l Monument; the back road scenic route down the Colorado River Canyon to Moab; Arches Nat’l Park; Capital Reef; the Escalante; Bryce and Zion. Annette called this drive-by tourism, but you can no longer do that at Zion: no cars allowed up the canyon; must take a 1/2 day bus trip up there instead. So glad I got to see it several times years before on my own terms.
Labor Day weekend in Las Vegas we settled down in a condo off the strip for 6 days. Annette read books and toured the theme casinos while I went to a pool party, rehearsal dinner, the wedding and reception & a catered family breakfast the morning after wedding from Fri thru Mon. Got to visit with Fred and Robin personally on Tues and Wed. nights. Turns out the relentless schedule of the 10 days driving plus having to drive alone in Vegas and find all the strange venues by myself was extremely
stressful, not to mention my severe allergy to 2nd hand casino smoke–it all ‘did me in.’ In Williams, Ariz, I got a severe muscle spasm attack; an EKG at the clinic also revealed Atrial Fibrillation (AF), so they sent me to a cardiologist in Flagstaff. On his advice, we ‘ditched’ the Grand Canyon and, with only a brief pause at Painted Desert, headed straight home in 3 days.
It has taken over 2 months of much “couch time” and medication I will be on for the rest of my life to stabilize my condition. Leesa Alford, Annette, and Glenn Coven as well as others all watched out for me and took good care of my needs during that time. I am so blessed with dear dear friends. I’m feeling much better now – almost normal—but must avoid stress – HA! Hurricane Ike moved thru Cincy on Sun 9/14 and left the entire city looking like a war zone with no electricity for as long as 7 days! Mine was out from noon Sun til Wed eve, but that was OK. I already had to go to W. Va. for a Bill/doctor run Mon-Thurs anyway, so I got electricity and care from Bill as I helped him with doctors. Good Timing. Bill came to Cincy mid Oct to help me with physical things I could not do. He drove to Grayson Ky; Annette and I met him there to ‘drive him in’ so he would not get lost. At 1PM, while waiting to find Bill, my cell phone rang and it was my next door neighbor. There were 5 police cars out front and my house was filled with cops. My house had been burglarized at noon! They caught the kid, I got most of my stuff back, and he is in jail. Glenn commented: “At least your life is never dull!”
And Nov. certainly was not. Nov. 10-12 doctor visits with Bill revealed increased closure of the aortic valve. Sue flew into Cincy the 17th and we had a wonderful 3 day visit before I drove her to W. Va. Bill agreed to go to Fla for 2 or more months for doctor 2nd opinions, probable operations, and the needed daily home care Sue could give him. We packed up Bill’s car for a 2 mo. stay and they left for Fla on Mon. spending Thanksgiving in West Palm, then back to HiSprings. Sun Bill was throwing temper tantrums, demanding to go home, and on Monday – he and the car disappeared with no clue where he was going!
Dec 1st was an awful day! Sunday at 11pm my toy poodle Cookie was writhing on the floor with a horribly distended stomach. A midnight run to all nite Vet Hospital revealed twisted stomach, painful death in 4-6 hours, so I mercifully put her down. Then at noon, Sue called to say Bill had disappeared; she filed a Missing Persons report and I tried tracking his credit card purchases. We finally found him 8:30 that nite at a motel south of Atlanta. Sue and Daniel drove up 9:30P-2:30AM to get him. Skipping the gory details, Sue ended up driving him back home to Hamlin, then had to get a plane back home. Also on 12/1, Glenn had a black ice car wreck, and mother of a friend was found dead in her bed. Autopsy revealed cause of death – Aortic Stenosis – 80% blockage; right where Bill is now. Not a good day. And we have no idea what to do about Bill. Guess you will have to tune in next Christmas for the end to this cliff hanger.
Amid all this, Cin. Symphony Orch. concerts have been a soothing blessing during the year. And now I only have one dog – Coco, since I had to have Brandy put down in April. Coco goes with me every where (except Fla and West trip). She loves to run the hills in Hamlin; scares me to death when she is gone 40 minutes, but she always comes home panting like crazy as she happily collapses on the floor.
And so I end this epistle as our first true snowfall and 15 degree weather truly usher in the spirit of the Christmas Season. May that spirit be yours and carry on throughout the coming New Year.
December 5, 2009
I can’t believe it is ‘that time’ again — time to write the annual Christmas letter about the year past. This year has whizzed by too fast, and has been a difficult year, so this is a hard letter to write, especially if I want to keep it upbeat. It can all be summed up very consisely. My dear friend, Bill Giles, died in April; My Atrial Fibrilation has turned into a very serious and fragile heart/health battle still on going; I got a new, Extreme HomeEdition makeover of my upstairs bathroom so it is handicap friendly; and finally, got a 2nd English Bulldog, Willa, to help keep Coco company and play with her, since I surely can’t.
That’s the news in a nutshell. The rest is elaboration on a theme which you can read if you like or just skip to the end with season’s greetings and personal notes.
Last year’s letter ended on a cliff hanger about Bill. I was on the phone with him in W.Va. almost every day thru December as he finally talked himself into coming to Cincinnati instead of Florida for 2nd opinion doctor visits. I drove down and got him at the end of Dec and he stayed here til mid- Feb – almost 8 weeks. I was with him 24/7 during that time. He would proudly announce to one and all: “I’m Senile ” followed vehemently with―”but I don’t have Alzheimer’s!!” Besides Dr. visits and tests, our days were spent revisiting the past. We went to the Christ Church Boar’s Head festival that Bill sang in for over 15 years; attended every Cin Symphony concert (he loved the music and also loved criticizing/complaining about the conductors). At home he would sit listening to CD’s and conduct them as he read the vocal scores. We drove around Cincy visiting places where he lived and worked; saw old friends from years past, and we talked, and talked, & talked. In spite of some challenges handling his perceptions and temper, those days are very dear and precious to me now. When winter snows abated, I drove him back to W. Va. mid Feb for 6 weeks – & again was on the phone with him almost every day.
Then it was time to return to Cincy for his final Neurology testing on April 1. He was told “You do have a dementia of the Alzheimer’s type” The fire and anger in his eyes was unbelievable. He knew he would never again be in control of his own life. He always said, if he had Alz. he would die, not extend his life to endure that indignity. And so, 10 days later, he took his last breaths at my home. I could not cry, — He went out the way he wanted on his own terms and by his own will, even tho it stated Aortic Stenosis with viral complications as the cause of death, scientifically.
Sue and Daniel came up here immediately for almost a week before they drove on to Hamlin to be with Michael and wrap things up both personally and legally in W. Va. May thru June I was involved with Sue in Florida transitioning all the years of my Power of Atty records over to her Executrix status. I am sorry to say, some of that is still ongoing because, with my health, I simply do not have the energy or stamina to handle all the business I used to do so quickly without a thought. Now the pace is glacial.
It was fun and relaxing to attend May Festival, the 4 operas in June and July, and have 2 visits out to my Indiana Camp thru July 4. But the let down after over a year of intense stress was beginning to set in and my health started falling apart in July. Paul built an extension onto my back porch which I used mightily this year, and then ripped out my upstairs bathroom down to the bricks and studs. It is rebuilt with Spanish tile, imported Italian wallpaper, new environmentally friendly commode and tub with grab bars – all designed for ‘elderly’ safety which I now need.
It is hard to describe the intense fatigue, the exhaustion, the lack of stamina intrinsic with Atrial Fib. I felt progressively worse thru August, with only a few good days; wisely cancelled my Labor Day trip to camp and one week later ended up in cardiac ICU – for 6 days. It sounds weird, but those 6 days in hospital were ‘wonderful’. I could just lie there, not move a muscle and have everybody wait on me hand and foot. After taking care of Bill, and worrying about other people for so many years, I just luxuriated in receiving care. Mid September until now has been a slow and frustrating climb back to some semblence of ‘normal’, tho I still have a long way to go. It is like riding a roller coaster or walking a tight rope. The key is keeping the Rate and Rhythm of the heart Regular. If the heart is RRR, I slowly improve. If I have an AF episode, it is a setback that can put me back in bed. While I still go to Symphony and some other events, all activity is very carefully planned and limited.
The first question everyone asks is “Can’t you get a pacemaker?” No, this is an ‘electrical’ problem in the heart and at least for now is best controlled by medication. The trick is to find the right medication, and the right amount for me to be effective with fewest side effects. We are still working on it. I guess that is my cliff hanger for this year. Hopefully I will have a positive outcome to report next Christmas.
And finally, my new Bulldog [born June 6, 2008]. The last Sunday in August [8/30/09] (a good day) Annette drove out with me to Adams County and I got a white purebred English Bulldog. 15 months old (now 18 mo) She is still, in so many ways, a puppy — all 60 pounds of her. Poor dog. I got her spayed 10 days later, then 3 days after that I was in hospital for 6 days. The dogs just stayed here at the house and wonderful friends stopped in 3 or 4 times a day to let the dogs out. Her first month here was a very confusing time for her. But she is now settling in; she and Coco have worked out their relationship and hierachy; and everybody is happy. I have had so many lol moments as well as their loving comfort and companionship curled up with me on the kitchen bed/couch where I have needed to spend so much of my time.
And so it is December and Christmas once again. Paul has put up a simple version of my outside light display; his wife Claire helps me 2 or 3 times a month with needed daily tasks and will help me put up my indoor Christmas decoration and I intend to thoroughly enjoy the season. My Christmas gift for everyone is a calendar of my photography from years past (no way can I shop stores, and I don’t do internet). I hope to get that done soon, along with all my cards and letters that I send. But if I do not get finished with my cards before Dec 25, OH WELL!! When they do get to you they will have been done with much thought and love for each of you and with truly sincere wishes not only for the season, but also for the year to come. Having lost many dear friends this year, my strongest wish is for you to have a healthy year ahead of you and be here for Christmas next year.
Christmas, 2010
Two rounds of snow, freezing temperatures, and cards and letters already arriving from many dear friends tell me I had better get busy and write my yearly Christmas Letter. I am doing so to the strains of Handel’s Messiah in the background. Not much to report this year except the state of my health, some awesome personal recognition incidents, and some miscellaneous thoughts.
My health this year has steadily, but very slowly improved, reaching what I call a “new normal.” That is far below what I was 2 or 3 years ago. For some of you with email, I am restating partially what I wrote in an update last January and then bringing it up to the present about my AFib. I have not had an AF episode since the end of January. So I feel better and stronger, but have no stamina or staying power. Still need lots of ‘wipe out’ resting time . Explaining that: there is a little number called ‘Injection Fraction’ that measures the strength of the heart muscle itself and its ability to inject (effectively pump) blood into the arteries. Top # is 70. Normal range is 55-70. When I was in hospital in Sept., 2009: my # was 20!!!! Scary In January, the # was 35. In June, it was 45. That is some improvement but not high enough and explains my inability to sustain any length of time working on a project, etc. For a few hours I feel fine, almost normal. Then I hit what feels like a brick wall in my ability to think, to do anything but just sit on kitchen couch/bed and regenerate energy. After the rest, I can again resume some activity. I am now walking Kroger’s large grocery store as opposed to taking the electric cart; I am lifting the heavy 10″ iron skillet I cook in (I could not in Nov. 2009); I do stairs somewhat better The Doctor seems thrilled with my progress. I am more guarded, scared of a set back, and get frustrated when I look at the long List of Things I Need to do. But As I said in my last Christmas letter—OH WELL!! I do what I can, meet household bill deadlines, go to Symphony for fun; and the rest just gets done when I can — glacially.
I was strong enough last Sept-Oct to do a 2 month round of Physical Therapy that really helped. Then in Nov. I got a bad cold that knocked me back to May in strength and stamina. And so it goes. My days of traveling are no more, so from time to time, I bring out all those photos I took on a specific trip to Alaska, Greece, or Russia, etc. and relive those wonderful experiences. Four years ago, I solved my Christmas shopping by creating a calendar of photos from a specific trip. They became a hit and my gift exchange friends look forward to them every year now. This year I did my 1969 trip to Communist Russia, and even had 4 people who asked to buy one. Marienne K. Skinner, my 1968-70 housemate and companion of the Russia trip, visited Oct 1-3 and we had great fun selecting photos. Doing this project has set back by 2 or 3 weeks getting out my Christmas Cards and letters.
With my proactive days gone, my passive days this year allowed me to experience and savor some awesome experiences bestowed on me. In April, my Marshall College Social Sorority Alpha Xi Delta, treated me to lunch at Cincinnati Woman’s Club, and presented me with a dozen pink roses and a gold pin, Order of the Pearl, in a special ceremony commemorating 60 years since I became an Alpha Xi. A real surprise since I never became active in the Alum Chapter. A June alum dinner for Courter Tech HS honored teachers & my 10 years teaching and producing quality theater. In July, I did a few simple jobs at the Phi Beta National Convention held here in Cincy: opening registration, acting in 2 or 3 skits, and keeping members informed thru our email newsletter. The only thing I am doing this year is our monthly newsletter and I published our Yearbook in Sept. –All stuff I can do mostly sitting at the computer.
Most awesome was the celebration of my 80th birthday. July 4, my Munier cousins called and Robin said, “What are you doing for your 80th birthday??” “I don’t know, I hadn’t even thought about it. Probably go to O’Charley’s and get a steak dinner.” Keeping in mind the Muniers live in Las Vegas, 2,000 miles from Cincy, Robin said, “We want to take you out to dinner!” You could’ve knocked me over with a feather! Long story short, Fred, Robin, daughter Suzanne & her husband Rubin drove from Vegas to be here for 3 days for my birthday. Wed evening, on the B&B Riverboat dinner cruise, I noticed Fred having trouble using his right hand. After we docked, we went to Christ Hospital to discover he had a small stroke, fortunately with minimal side effects. Next day, I had a fantastic birthday celebration at O’Charley’s, minus Fred who was in the hospital. He had a carotid artery operation on Monday and they all stayed here an extra week, plus son Joe flew in from Vegas to be here. While this seems a negative, since Christ is one of the top hospitals in the U.S., (Robin dubbed it “the Ritz Carlton”) they were very thankful it happened here and I got a wonderful longer visit with my family.
In a related Munier story, Fred just went through a 10 hour operation at UCLA hospital to remove bone and most of soft tissue from his right jaw to get out a cancer tumor; and then they rebuilt the area with a rib and skin, etc from his right chest area. He came thru this major operation with flying colors, and should be OK except for a long recovery period. My cousins sure have had a traumatic time these last 6 months.
My bulldogs, Coco and Willa, are such wonderful companions, keeping me laughing at some of their cute antics. I am thankful for wonderful friends: Annette, Leesa, the Brunners, and Glenn, plus some of my neighbors, all take good care of me, and help make it possible for me to stay in my lovely home, as well as to attend Cin. Symphony Orchestra concerts, plus some plays. It was fun over the past years acquiring ‘stuff’; but it is infinitely more difficult to divest myself of all this ‘stuff’! I am sure many of you can relate. That is my goal for the coming year, along with trying to create in writing and pictures a family history, especially of the Brown Family.
My wishes to all for a happy and healthy New Year. I look forward to getting notes, letters and sometimes phone calls that allow me to touch base and share a moment of real friendship with you. Among my happy memories are those times we were able to visit in person.
Christmas, 2011
As Christmas approaches, I give thanks for my health and blessings, mourn some losses, and find happiness and satisfaction in experiencing beauty in the ‘little things’ of life. One day last summer, I was sitting on my back porch, a pot of cola with its tiny blooming spears not 30 inches from my face, when a hummingbird suddenly flew up, drinking the nectar from those tiny flowers. It was a magical moment.
As for my health, after 2 years, the Injection Fraction of my heart has finally returned to normal- (Sept, 2009 = 20; April 2011, low normal range- 57+). And I have not had an A-Feb episode since Jan, 2010, so the medication is working its magic. I finally feel well. But the A-Feb sapped the strength and endurance of my muscles and even, somewhat, my mind. So now I pretty much fit the category of “elderly” – a label I eschewed in the past.. But with the help of Paul to handle the yard work and house maintenance, Mary to house clean once a month, Claire to help with kitchen and clothes when they get out of hand, and Annette to help with grocery, carrying and other things, I manage to live happily in my own home. Having wonderful friends like this is truly a blessing.
I am not doing much Christmas decorating this year. Last year I did full decorating, had my traditional Xmas eve dinner and gift exchange with Glenn Coven & Annette. It was as usual, a wonderful time. That was the last time I saw Glenn. He spent almost every day in Jan. working—thru Sunday, Jan. 23; went to hospital emergency Mon. morn; was treated for various ailments, discovered to have acute Leukemia and immediately slapped into Isolation. After an aggressive one week treatment of chemo (which I think was more than his system could handle) he died on Feb 14, Valentine’s Day!.
Adding to that shock, my dear friend since 1962, Tom Grooms, passed away just 10 days earlier. Glenn, if you remember, was the “Jolly Santa Claus” in the Xmas picture I sent about 5 yrs. ago. He was always laughing, smiling, bringing joy to others in the true ‘Santa’ image. He is deeply missed!! He had a rich, operatic tenor voice, including singing “Casper” in innumerable productions of Amahl and the Night Visitors; many of them with Bill Giles’ baritone “Melchior”. Such wonderful, nostalgic memories of both Glenn and Bill.
Bill “hated” Christmas, but Glenn loved it. We had that rich tradition of 15 + years of dinner, gifts, and Christmas eve service at Hyde Park Meth. Church, so filled with Carols we loved to sing. I needed a definite break from that, so I am going to ‘get out of town’ and spend Xmas with my Munier cousins in Las Vegas Dec 20-29. (In case some of you get cards late, you will know Time just caught up with me)!!
I was thrilled to have Susan Giles (Bill’s daughter) and her husband, Daniel, visit me for 5 days in Mid-Oct. They brought Xena, their beautiful, gentle German Shepherd. While Coco befriended Xena in ’09, she never did accept her this year. Big, gentle Willa not only accepted Xena, she became her ‘protector’ from Coco. So much fun seeing the “doggie dance negotiations.” Because Coco, at 7 ½, does not ‘play well’ with other dogs, she will stay home with drop in care while I am in Vegas; Willa will go to “The Pet Spot”, stay in the 8×8 “Moulin Rouge suite” with TV and web cam, and play daily with other dogs. A solution happiest for both dogs, not to mention the Pet Spot staff.
I continue to work on family history and genealogy for the Brown family. I am also establishing a collection preserving family artifacts mid 19th c. to present at the Brookville Historical Society, just NE of Dayton, Ohio, near where mom and dad grew up and are buried.
I am no longer actively involved in Theater and like activities. Instead I just go and observe and drink in the beautiful artistry of others at Cincinnati Symphony, May Festival Chorus, Opera, and the many plays. I am still active in Phi Beta, and do what I can at home like their newsletter & yearbook all on the computer and all on my own time. For my calendar this year I chose my 1984 trip to Greece.
What wonderful nostalgic memories as I looked thru the slides and chose my pictures. At the end of that trip, Barb Sorensen, Bill Giles and I went down to lower Manhattan to see a ticker-tape parade for our 1984 Los Angeles Summer Olympic Team – and tour the World Trade Center. I got some great pictures of the WTC and decided, on the 10th anniversary of its 9/11 demise, to make the best iconic shot my Christmas picture present to all.
On this 10th anniversary, may the beauty and majesty these iconic towers once inspired by piercing toward the heavens inspire your life as well and point to better and happier times in this coming and future years.
News Death Notice
SHUE, Bruce R. Age 95, of Brookville, passed away Thursday, March 8, 2012 at the Brookhaven Retirement Community following a brief illness. He was preceded in death by 4 sons, Steven, Norman, Dr. Philip & Roger Shue & by a nephew Vincent Eby. He retired from Dayton Malleable Iron, he was a member of Brookville Community United Methodist Church, Brookville Lodge #596 F&AM, Scottish Rite, valley of Dayton & Antioch Temple. He is survived by his wife of 77 years, Miriam; grandson, Jeffrey Shue & wife Dianne; great-grandson Reece Shue and numerous other relatives and many friends. Funeral services will be held 1:30 PM Tuesday, March 13 at the GILBERT-FELLERS FUNERAL HOME, 950 ALBERT RD., BROOKVILLE, with burial to follow in Arlington Cemetery. Visitation 5-7 PM Monday with Masonic Services at 7 PM. In lieu of flowers the family requests donations to either the Brookville Community Scholarship Foundation or the Community United Methodist Church. E-mail condolences may be sent by going online to www.gilbert-fellers.com
The Baby Basket in this picture was started 1930 by Candis Brown for arrival of Carolyn Ruth Hunt, 7/29/30.
- Used by Carolyn, born July, 1930
- Fredric Earl Munier, born October 2, 1931
- Ronald Glenn Brown, born 1932
- Francis Brown, born ??
- Connie Brown, born ~1939
- Suzanne Munier, born 1986
- Reece Shue, born 1997
- Joseph Wadley Munier, Jr. Jan, born 2011
- Charlotte Munier, Born May, 2012
- Son (R) of Suzanne Munier Chavez-Balderrama, Born Sept. 2012
Tues. Eve. Dec 4, 2012Dear Betty:
I have been waiting to hear from you since I called. November was a packed month
for me. Besides 15 days of performances and activities to attend during the 30 day month, I also was
doing Physical Therapy (PT) for my “Joey Votto” knee (8 days-2 days a week)—–That finally
ends this week. And in between, I was working on putting together my 2013 calendar that I
publish as Xmas presents each year. This year I am doing pictures from my 1986 Road Trip to
Northwest US, Canada, and Alaska. I just got it in to printer last week and they are working
on it this week.
Since I had not heard from you, I decided to just go ahead and finish typing what Joyce
Lee had written so I could get the original manuscript back to you. Now it is ready for you to
proof read for any typing errors I might have, and to also check against Joyce’s original writing
to see if I have any transcription errors. I have done one proofreading of my own; but after 3
months of looking at this content, her writing and my typing, I know from past experience of
doing the Phi Beta Yearbook, I can look at an error and never see it. It takes a pair of fresh eyes
to catch even the most obvious mistake. Finally, of course, I need you to check the accuracy
of her content – to correct any mistakes and also to fill in any blanks she has missed. All those
inaccuracies will be inserted into the manuscript in [—-] brackets like I did in the first 2 pages of
Norman Brown genealogy, so we preserve her original writing, but also pass on accurate information.
Don’t worry about marking up the script on the pages. I have made some proofreading
corrections on Page 12, and then printed a corrected sheet as a guide for you. I think the easiest way would be for you to make all your corrections on the pages; then call me. I have my own printed copy here, and we can go over it page by page so I can write in on my own sheets the corrections and additions that you find . When we have a fully corrected and correct copy, I will send you a new, final copy of the
full manuscript.
Also, maybe having this copy will give you some idea of some representative pictures to
send me to scan in and put with the manuscript. I had wanted to have all this done to send to people
by Christmas, but I am pretty sure that is a deadline we are NOT going to be able to make by now.
Maybe shoot for getting it all done by during January to distribute in February. I will also send to
you copies of the final manuscript with pictures for filing in the Greenville Museum as well as have
a copy filed in the Brookville Historical Society Genealogy Dept.
The next 2 steps in my genealogy history research are (1) ‘cleaning up’ and clearing up the ‘ancient’ family history 1800 to Norman Brown. with your research additions and our pictures;
(2) Doing the Florence Brown Shue Hunt / Bruce Shue family. Maybe completing all that will spur Francis Brown and the Muniers to work on and complete their phase of the project.
This manuscript is “precious cargo” so let me know when you get it. I may even send it by
certified or registered mail — or most likely just Priority Mail – to be sure you get it.
Love and Holiday Greetings, Cousin Carolyn Ruth
I send you holiday greetings of the season, hoping you are enjoying your special traditions of this festive season. Last year, I intentionally broke my traditions since it would be the first Christmas in 20 years without Glenn Coven to share our traditional activities. (He passed away Feb. 14, 2011.)
Last year, my calendar, my Xmas letter, and many of my cards were completed and already sent by now
in preparation for spending Christmas with my cousin Fred’s family in Las Vegas; this year none of that
is done so I am way behind. My 2013 calendar of Bill Giles and my road trip to Alaska in 1986 won’t be
done til next week, almost a month late. For my “Xmas picture” this year, like the sheep at the manger scene, I picked a photo from that memorable Alaska road trip adventure of wild “Stone Sheep” grazing at milepost #450 along the Al-Can Highway near Muncho Lake, Yukon, Canada.
I could write a whole chapter or SNL skit on my flights to & from Vegas with wheelchair assisted flight changes. When Fred, Suzanne and Rubin picked me up, I got very confused when we did not turn at the usual place to get to their house. They had fun with me for a while, before we turned into a gated
community and pulled up in front of what seemed a ‘mansion’ to me. My cousin Fred and Robin had taken advantage of the tanked Vegas housing crisis to get this beautiful, large 5 bedroom, 4 bath, home with
gigantic indoor rec. room & separate pool room & separate maids apt, as well as a huge refrigerated closet. Daughter Suzanne, her husband Rubin and 2 dogs joined them to help care for Fred as he recovered from the jaw cancer operation and facial reconstruction he had 2 years ago. Then they turned their 2 former houses into rentals. Fred’s operation was fantastically successful. He looks beautiful !! – just like always—you never would know he had one whole side of his lower face removed. Oh, except for the teeth. They are still working on that. He had an implant fitting just last week, so hopefully he soon will have permanent teeth,too. Below: CRH & Fred before-2008; in 2011, son Freddie, Fred after, son Joe & his son, “JJ” (for Joe, Jr.)
I enjoyed my 10 day visit basking in the SW sun each day. A sumptuous home cooked Xmas Day dinner and presents afterward with extended family was enjoyed by all. Fred’s son “Little Freddie” (who is over 50 and anything but ‘little’) came from Texas to be with his dad as did I from Cincy; son Joseph was there from Seattle, Wash. with wife Marietta, her daughter, Lauren (10), their son “JJ” (for Joe, Jr.-10 mos.); plus Suzanne, Rubin, Robin & Fred. Now, a year later, Joe has added daughter, Charlotte (7 mo.) and moved to Tampa, Florida for a Wells Fargo Dist. Manager promotion; Suzanne and Rubin have had a new son in Sept. and, I just learned last night, they moved to Texas as Rubin starts a new job. I find it hard to keep up.
Several family members had colds, and I caught the infection the night I left for home. They all
quickly shook off the infection, but I was very sick the entire month of January, including 2 doctor and 2
emergency room visits. Feb 1st it all magically went away. Then a freak dislocated left jaw incident put
me on Prednisone April 1st. Oh my goodness, how wonderful. For 6 weeks I felt and acted 15 years younger. No wonder athletes go on steroids. Sadly, the effect does not last and I now feel OK, but back
to the slow movement and limited stamina of “elderly”. Since July, I have been dealing with what I call
my “Joey Votto Knee”. For those of you who don’t know, Joey Votto is a star Cin. Reds Baseball player
who, in July got 2 tears in the miniscus of his knee; went back to playing too soon in Milwaukee and got a piece of cartilage lodged in his miniscus, sliding into base. They immediately flew him back to Cincy on a charter flight, operated on it right away, and he was back playing at the end of Sept. I had exactly the
same injuries in July and on Aug 4, but I was not important enough to get that royal treatment. Could not get to Dr. for 3 days, and he would only give me a cortisone shot 2 days later. I spent 3 months thru Oct healing, and finally started therapy in Nov. I am now walking much more normally without pain and beginning to feel at least back to my ‘new (slow) normal’.
My normal activities continue to be attending Cin. Symphony, Chamber Players, Opera in summer,
plays for Playhouse in the Park (I still usher at the smaller Shelterhouse Theater), season performances for
several community theaters, May Festival Choral concerts, etc. etc. If I don’t have the stamina to actively
perform and do work in the arts, I can at least actively support them with my attendance. And I still stay
active in Phi Beta Fraternity; besides attending, I do the Yearbook and the Newsletter, tho I am trying to phase out of the Newsletter job. At home I am working to reorganize and archive the thousands of photos I have taken over the years. Some of this includes migrating the media format from slides or prints to digital; not always an easy task when I am not facile in computer use beyond straight typing. Finally, my biggest project is working on Family History and genealogy. I got a new computer program suggested by third (Rasor) cousin Bonnie Horstman called “Brother’s Keeper”. I am working to get the entire Norman L. Brown (maternal grandfather) family genealogy recorded 1800 thru the present day including family stories and photographs. Brother’s Keeper is a great program, but it is tedious work entering what is now hundreds of individuals, each with their own page.
I made several trips to Brookville, Ohio to Brookville Historical Society for family history and,
sadly to attend funeral of Bruce Shue, the oldest at 96 of the Norman Brown cousins. That dubious honor
now defaults to me. With no one else to do it, I got my act together this summer to design and purchase
my gravestone, which is now set at Arlington Cemetery on Rt. 40 north of Brookville. It is, I think, very
unique: a teardrop shape in black marble. At the end of August I had to buy a new car –a Subaru Forester.
They stopped making Saturns 4 years ago and will stop making replacement parts in about 2 years, so I had to turn it in while it had at least a little trade in value. I loved that car; drove it like a Ferrari sports car, so it’s probably a good thing to slow down my driving style to something safer. I like my new car, but am still trying to adjust to driving this higher profile, different vehicle.
Finally, in June, Annette and I took a 2 day trip to Parkersburg, W. Va. and eastern Ohio counties north of Marietta where she has an interest in family property involved in the big oil and gas shale boom. I drove by the house my parents lived in for 10 years in Parkersburg in the 1950’s, and what a shock! Our white clapboard house was gone and on its footprint was a cement block one story house & garage – painted garish bright vivid (redundancy intentional) blue!!! While I did not take a picture, I cannot get the image of this UGLY house out of my mind. We left Coco at home, but took Willa. She was such a good dog. We stayed at Mariott Inn Hotel in Marietta with a room at the end of a long hall, 2nd floor. I went down for breakfast, and brought it back up on the elevator. When the door opened, standing there, calmly waiting to board the elevator,were 4 or 6 people – and Willa! “Willa? What are you doing here? Is that your dog? Yes.” As her back end gently wiggled in happiness at having found me, I said: Come on Willa, lets go home; and we sauntered back down the hall to the room. Annette had cracked the door while she took a shower in case I did not have my room key – and you just never do that with Willa. She is too smart.
I am already enjoying the notes, letters and cards received from many of you. Hope your holiday
season and the coming new year is filled with joy, love, kindness and good health.
Christmas-Letter-2013-p2-2pics
Christmas Day, Dec.25, 2013
Even tho I hate the dark, short days and cold of winter, I truly love the Christmas season
because I get to hear from and touch base with so many of my dear ‘old’ (longtime) friends. January cold
and 10+ inches of snow the first half of Dec. still was not enough to inspire my muse. I thought I was
late last year. I am impossibly late this year, writing my Xmas Letter on Christmas Day! I am so late
you probably thought that something happened to me. I did not shuffle off this mortal coil, but I did
have a year of health problems and events, doctors, fixes, PT & recovery. I also managed to ‘get in’ a few
positive events, so I can’t complain too much. After all, I am at that age and others of you that I have
heard from have had as bad, some even worse. Maybe it was the year: 2013 !! It all started with my Joey Votto knee in July 2012 & the dr. that refused to do the simple arthroscopic surgery
because I was “too old” (82) & my A-fib. His radiologist even
misread my MRI. So I got pumped full of steroids & cortisone
that damaged my glaucoma or hobbled around on a cane in pain
for 14 mos. before I finally (a year older) got the surgery Aug 9 from another excellent orthopedist, Dr. Colosimo. He played pro football for the NE Patriots years ago (c. 1970-80ish) before becoming a dr.& team doctor for Univ. Cin. & Bengals.
I didn’t get my first Physical Therapy until Nov. 2012. It
might have been good for 30-40 yr old sports people, but was too intense for elderly weak bones & I think ultimately did more
harm than good. Mid Feb to mid March my bones began
collapsing: lateral stress fracture in leg bone just below L. knee.
(Now both knees were out) and then my lumbar back ‘fell apart’.
Mar. 8, getting an MRI on my L knee, it took 4 people (2 of them
strong, trained PT men) to get me up with #10 pain off the MRI
table. This was the Nadir of my pain & health problems.
I drove home. (Yes, I went thru all this alone) and yes, I
could drive. I couldn’t sit, stand, lie down, hardly walk, but I
could drive! I was at the point of desperation , so at 4 pm Thurs.
I called Sue Giles, Bill’s daughter, in Fla.: “ Sue, if I fly you to
Cincinnati, could you come take care of me for a couple of weeks?” That beautiful angel said yes and I picked her up at the
airport at 11 the next morning. She took over everything for me: I got Rolly, the rollator, to walk; she got
me to new Dr. appts, MRI’s; washed clothes & did stuff around the house. It was heaven~! In return, I was able, with the help of Rolly & Sue, to treat her to a symphony, a play, and a special piano-string concert. By the time Sue went home, I knew my lumbar spine was “Rice Krispies”, I was set up for 2
epidurals, and PT with a wonderful, miracle, age appropriate PT program with Barb Holland at Blake &
Assoc., and surgery on my knee for Aug. 9. (Had to cure the back before I could correct the knee) It was
7 mo. of PT with 2 goals: Back recovery so I could drive to Florida in June; then strengthen leg muscles
before 8/9 knee surgery to make that recovery faster and easier, and so I could be off cane by Xmas. Sue
also convinced me I needed a Council on Aging Aide. And so it is Christmas day, and I am happy to say I have achieved all my goals!!!
All the family history work and projects I had been doing came to a screeching halt during this
challenging year, but I did drive to Brookville Ohio Historical Society in May, to take up some past work
and a few items for the museum. Health concerns (heart) from surgery recovery cancelled my fall trip; & I was devastated I could not attend funeral of my cousin Cary Brown’s wife, Lindsay; but I was able to
drive up to the Rasor Reunion near Greenville, Ohio and visit Betty and Gary Brown earlier in July.
New Year’s Day for Christmas, 2013, pg. 2
Yes, it is a week later, and so it goes as I try to get “Projects”, like Xmas cards, completed. Marienne Kruse Skinner called it a ‘cock-a-mainey scheme’ that I came up with, but a wonderful one. On June 12, she drove from her home in Rockton, Ill (near Wisc. line) to my house. We had a wonderful day visit, she helped me pack, then we went to Cincinnati Opera, Mozart’s Don Giovanni, that nite. The next
morning a neighbor helped pack my car, and we took off, with Willa, (Coco stayed home with much
arranged care) for the south. We arrived at Marienne’s brother’s house in Atlanta that evening; she
stayed in Atlanta, while the next day I drove south with Willa to Susan’s home in High Springs, Fla (300 miles). After several days with Sue, she went with me on south to Tampa to visit the Munier family over
the weekend. Then we reversed the process going home. Fred’s “kids’, both Joe and Suzanne’s families,
moved to just north of Tampa the previous year, so I got wonderful visits with the Muniers, Marienne and Susan all in one freeing, rejuvenating road trip.
Thru all this, the activities that keep me going are always attending many plays and musical events.
I did, this past year, finally give up ushering for Playhouse in the Park after 45 years. In honor of my
service, they gave me a free season pass to the Shelterhouse plays, so I still attend all their plays, as well
as Drama Workshop and other community theaters. May Festival choral concerts, Cin Opera in the
summer, Symphony and Chamber music concerts Sept thru April inspire my soul throughout the year.
I am still managing to handle this big house–with the help, now, of Shante, my Council on Aging aide
2 hours every Monday to do laundry, lifting, carrying, etc. that is now hard for me to do. After my Aug.
outpatient surgery, I spent 3 days in nursing home for care and therapy for walking. It was a wise choice,
but truly made me deeply appreciative of being able to stay in my own home, along with Coco and Willa.
They are funny, loving companions offering me much comfort and joy, not to mention, as our neighbor-
hood changes, a feeling of protection & safety.
As I start the new year walking almost completely normally, I look forward to a happier year with
more positive and productive experiences. I wish the same to same for you.
(Joe Munier, JoeJr.,Charlotte)(Suzanne,Rubin & RJr.)
FYI for Family: With no kids, I have to “do it yourself”
Designed and got my headstone set at Arlington Cemetery,
3 miles N. of Brookville, OH. The Hunt Family Plot is in
section south of old Rt. 40, to S. of road to the left.
Friday, Dec 12, 2014
Sent Dec. 2015
Last Christmas, I wrote my letter on Xmas day and only got 2/3 of my Christmas list cards sent out
in the few months after Christmas; AND 1/3 never got sent. A lot has happened in the last 2 years that
has slowed me down, mostly health challenges that have interferred with my love of doing projects like
my yearly Xmas cards with letters and even, this year, with putting out my Calendars. Sorry, I just can’t
do calendars this year. But I vow to get all my cards done this year, including double cards and letters
for those I missed last year, even if they, too, end up coming after Christmas. I do the best I can.
My knee surgery in Aug. 2013 to repair torn miniscus on R. knee went wonderfully and my knee is great, even stronger than the L knee. But the doctors are right when they say the side effects from anasthetic, etc are worse. It took more than 7 months to come back from all that, including a month on a heart monitor in Nov-Dec. Keeping track of all that while living alone is what interferred with all my other activities, including doing cards, not to mention our horrible winter last year.
I am still at home with Coco (age 10 ½ ) and Willa (age 6 ½ ) but it gets more challenging each year. I
have help from Council on Aging home health aides, but it is a minimum wage job with a huge turnover.
I am lucky if an aide lasts 4 to 6 months, then quits and I have to train someone else. Last summer I
optimistically set up a 5 year goal/plan to move to a retirement community, predicated on my dog’s life
span mostly! Ha. That plan got real iffy when I suddenly got sick mid Sept. with gastro problems. A
routine cleanout for colonoscopy landed me in the hospital with excessive bleeding so I could be monitored. I was then diagnosed with diverticulosis and severe anemia, receiving 2 pt. of blood. Three
days on those soft hospital beds with no support made my cervical spine totally go ‘kaphlooey’ from
degenerative disc disease. Incompetent care from the Dr. office made it even worse, so I spent 5 weeks
in great pain and almost totally incapacitated before I could get my epidural and some relief. After that experience, I changed doctors, and health care systems from Tri-Health to Christ Hospital. I now feel like I am being cared for and happily, am now slowly on the road to recovery as I work thru Physical Therapy.. I hope to be back to some sort of normalcy by Spring.
In April, I traded in my Subaru Forester for the little red Ford Focus above. In the 20 months I had the Forester, I had 8 to 10 near misses and 2 contact “wrecks” – more like fender benders. But that
was more incidents in 20 months than I had ever had in any 20 year period over the 68+ years of my
driving. That car was far too dangerous for me (blind spots), so I got rid of it and leased the Ford. In Aug. Sue & Daniel & German Shepherd Zena drove up from Fla., Brother Michael Giles came over from W. Va. & they drove to Denver for a waterlily convention & vacation at Rocky Mtn Natl. Park, leaving Zena with me for 2 weeks. Sort of like having a deer loping thru the house; but she was a dear, sweet, gentle & smart dog. Willa loved having her here, but Coco really did not like it. We managed to keep the peace and it was an interesting, sometimes fun 2 weeks. After returning from Colorado, Sue spent 4 days here with me before joining Daniel & Zena at Michael’s for 2 months in W. Va., before then returning home to Fla.
Annette and I went on several ‘staycation’ excursions around Cincinnati during the summer. We spent
a day at Krohn Conservatory with giant Coleus and Butterflies from Costa Rica; viewed the Princess
Diana Exhibit at Cincinnati Museum Center; and especially spent the day at Pyramid Hill Outdoor Sculpture Park just north of Cincy. It’s 80 acres of outdoor sculptures plus an antiquities museum. When
I was in Greece, I saw a 10×10 bin with sculpture scraps from digs dumped in it. Most of the sculptures
in the museum from Greece and Rome were from that kind of source, beautifully displayed. Gave me an added depth of understanding as I viewed the exhibit. I also managed to drive to Brookville, OH to visit
their Historical Society in June and get to the Rasor Reunion near Greenville, Ohio in July. I also went
to 4 operas in June and July, plus the usual May Festival Choral concerts in May. Not in 2015.
Can’t handle long (200 mi.) drive plus visits all in one day any more!
I had to give up going downtown to the Aronoff Theater for Cin. Music Theater because of parking and
walking demands this past year. I still go to Drama Workshop plays, Cin. Playhouse in the Park, and especially to all the Symphony and Chamber Music concerts. Handicap parking is right by the door making that possible. All this fall, Annette would drop me off at the front of Music Hall, I would be met with a wheelchair, and wheeled to within 30 feet of my seat, making it possible for me to get to all the concerts. What a wonderful service! Of course, I also enjoy going to Phi Beta Fine Arts Fraternity meetings during the year and publishing their Yearbook in early Sept. (Also in 2015)
And so now it is the day after Christmas and I am still working on my letter; fortunately, the end of it
rather than the beginning. I have loved reading your cards, letters and notes– my yearly visit with you.
I will spend the next week sharing my past year with you, cherishing the beauty of our years of friendship.
So you are much in my thoughts as we move into the New Year. As we all face the challenges of growing older, my hope is for us all to have the healthiest and happiest New Year possible.
November 4, 2015
Christmas Newsletter from Carolyn Ruth
Last year, Christmas 2014, in spite of good intentions, I did not get one single Christmas Card sent!!!!
I did get my Christmas letter written, but it never made it out of the computer!! My physical therapist
later told me I was really puney when I got to her in Dec. It took 2 months of therapy to get me well
enough to give up the wheel chair at Symphony and 5 months all told to get dismissed the end of April.
Then immediately Willa, my white Bulldog, got very sick with ‘thrombocytopenia’, Her white blood
cell count dropped drastically and we found she had a tumor on her spleen. Nursing her thru that took
6 weeks, most of the time thinking we were going to lose her. But pills, an operation removing her
spleen and a tumor (benign) & lots of love brought her back and she is perky, happy and normal now.
So by summer my goals were moved up, and I was more than ready to leave my big home for a small
patio home in a retirement community. When I discovered I could take Coco and Willa with me to
Twin Towers Retirement Community, moving was a no-brainer. I have a 2 bedroom patio home, new
address: 5131 South Ridge Drive, Cincinnati, Ohio, 45224, effective FEB.! I will be keeping the same email addresses: caruhunt@cinci.rr.com and caruhunt@msn.com I am working now to transport my old, longtime phone # 513-662-5532 into my internet system, so that will go with me; as well as
having a land phone with Twin Towers: # 513-853-2974. Target dates for move are during January &
February, I hope to be eating and sleeping there by 2/1, going back ‘home’ to finish getting my house
ready to go on the market 2/15 or shortly thereafter.
For further detail and lots of pictures on Twin Towers Ret. Community, go to www.lec.com/Twin Towers. It is a great place and I already have 5 or 6 friends residing there. ! While I hate facing
all the work, decisions and challenges involved with reducing my big house down to 1000 sq. ft., I am
excited and happy to be making my home in a place that will now look after and care for me to the end
of my days.
Just read Xmas letter 2014 for daily activity news in my life; not much has changed over the last year.
2 pics follow, showing my bad back & inside of new home (with their furniture, not mine) and 1 of the outside front. Special thanks to Sue Giles, her computer & teamviewer for getting the pics placed below. I am still alive and kicking (tho slower), and wishing you ALL a Merry Christmas and a very happy and healthy New year.
Christmas, 2016
New Address! 5131 South Ridge Dr. Cincinnati, OH 45224
As usual, I seem to be running late. But the thought is there even tho I am so slow to get things going.
A year ago this month I was deep into the chaos of downsizing and moving: choosing what to
pitch, getting boxes packed to donate, to send to family in Florida, deciding what to sell at auction, or to take to my new 900 sq. ft. patio home here at Twin Towers Retirement Community –(TT). It was a formidible task for someone with significant limitations in lifting and walking. I will ever be so grateful for all the people who pitched in to make it possible, especially my dear friend Annette Roth.
I had lived at Coral Park for 50 years. What started as a normal 6 room colonial house grew over
the years like topsy to 4 usable stories. A pulldown stair opened to what became a full, finished room in the attic with roof gable storage space (1975); the basement garage became my fully finished exercise
& rec room with a ‘scene shop’ workroom built out from it (1987). And then in 2001, I added 750 sq. ft.
out the back to give me my downstairs bath, closet space, sunroom and huge open office/computer room
with a bed so I could live on a one floor condo when necessary. I truly loved that house, but at 85, it just
became too much to manage, and I needed to be in a safe, care taking environment. where I could still
live independently with Coco and Willa. They had to go with me!
In June 2015, I started seriously looking for a retirement community I could enjoy and afford. Twin Towers fit the bill, and it helped that I already had at least 10 friends already living here. Ginny
(& Art) Weil shared an apartment (1963-4) and worked with me in theater; Nancy Neal and I worked together in Drama Workshop (1970’s) and Phi Beta; Gwen Peerless (1990’s) took my Univ Cin. Learning in Retirement class for 6 years; Jim & Carol Bussey went to Russia (1991) in John Leman’s International
Choir Tour with me (and he was in east side Cin. community theater)—just to name a few. I have made
many new friends. I have dinner every nite with Jim Fethe & Clyde Bowden. Clyde and I are the same
age and we were a Freshman & Sophmore at Marshall College at the same time (1948-50)—but never met then. I have also run into other ‘small world’ coincidences here this year.
I am now happily ensconced here in my new patio home, tho I still have a bunch of boxes in the
garage still to be unpacked. It is nice to know you are ‘normal’ and not alone. Others here also have
unpacked boxes, aches and pains, etc. etc. and that is a comfort. It has been hard getting used to having
dinner early (starting 4:30) but the food is good. I usually drive up to the ‘big house’ where the main
dining room is located, tho there is a bus which will take you up and back from your patio home. I plan
to use that these cold winter months.
TT offers wonderful entertainment programs for their residents, especially at Christmas. Best of
all, they have a program with Univ Cin. College Conservatory of Music (CCM) offering free patio home
rent to graduate students in return for them giving recital programs at least once a month. We have an
opera singer, pianist, saxaphonist, & harpist in residence here now offering fantastic professional music.
One lady here said “OH! You still ‘go out’?!” when I mentioned going to the Cin. Symphony. Ha. Thanks
to Annette I still go to all the CSO concerts. She drives me to the door, and then parks. And I still drive to
daytime shows at Playhouse in the Park (10) and Drama Workshop (6). When I have to give up the car
and driving, those will have to stop. Even now, my night driving is severely curtailed for safety. I have also stopped going to Opera, May Festival & various other performances. Glaucoma has claimed most
of my left eye vision. I am on “Rolly” (my rollator) 90% of the time now, cane 8%, and just about
2% ‘free walking’ for safety, but Rolly lets me ‘stride walk’ almost normally, which is a wonderful
feeling. Annette takes me to the grocery and I ride the “toodle cart” (as I call it) there. But here at TT
in the halls—Look Out! We’ve got some real “old lady hot rodders” on their electric carts.
I have so enjoyed receiving cards and especially notes and letters from friends near and far. For those in
my age group there is a definite common Theme!! “I am so much slower (in movement & thought); I have trouble walking; trouble with my back (sciatica or whatever).” And so it is with me, as we are all afflicted with and struggle with the vagaries of old age. I am no longer the quick, efficient, organized
multitasker I used to be. But I don’t need to be anymore in this gentle, understanding and caring
community that is becoming my ‘family’. I manage my maladies & medication, & cherish and love the
companionship of my bulldogs Coco & Willa. Coco is 12 ½ — really old for bulldogs. So we are all old
ladies together.
I do hope your Christmas was merry and joyful, and that the new year will hold good things for
you going forward.
NOT DONE!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS SEASON’S GREETINGS
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!
(NOTE: I got “felled” by a wicked infection the week before Xmas. Sick thru Xmas into the next
week until Jan 7. Felt too lousy to even do cards and notes. I just do what I can, when I can, but at
least the ‘thought is here’ sincerely.)
I have just read my Xmas 2016 letter. Except for the moving details, I could almost just reprint that same letter describing the activities. atmosphere and people here at Twin Towers. This community is
a wonderful place—exactly where I need to be, especially in light of some of the health challenges I have faced this past year. So just go back and re-read last year’s letter(if you didn’t pitch it); then ‘plug in’ the latest update details and stories for this past year written below.
I enjoyed the wonderful friendship and companionship at dinner with Jim Fethe & Clyde Bowden
for 14 months, then they had to move from independent living up to Assisted Living (with their own dining). Jim had cancer and left this earth Nov. 12. Such a loss of a wonderful person, but that is the
“natural order” of life around here as I make friendships, and then they are gone. Also lost this year was
Faye Sink Hunt, who married my father in 1972, 10 months after my mother’s passing. She was his
companion and caretaker for 19 years, until he died in Aug. 1991 at age 99. She then went on to live an
active life, passing in March at age 104!!!
My dear Coco also died in April from an attack of severe respiratory distress at age 13 (very old for English Bulldogs). It was a very traumatic 2 hours from onset at the dog groomers to final peace at home.
I made frantic phone calls as Coco turned purple gasping for air The vet suggested blowing a hair dryer into her mouth which helped her to take deep breaths and finally turn pink but she was still in terrible agony. Willa paced the floor, stopping to nuzzle Coco and even lick her face. Twin Towers Safety
came to help me and “Angels Paws”, a special home vet service, arrived to put Coco out of her misery.
Willa lay her head against Coco’s body as we lovingly said our goodbyes and put her to sleep. Willa followed (without leash) closely, as they carried Coco out on a stretcher to the open car hatchback.
As we walked away from the car, Willa put her front paws up on the bumper and thrust her face deep
into the car. Then she backed off , circled and repeated that behavior 3 times! Losing Coco was bad enough, but watching Willa’s bereavement behavior really tore me up inside. Willa grieved for 6 months before she returned to her normal self.
I am fighting to stay physically and mentally strong and alert. Since January, I have been in hospital 3 times, 2 trips to emergency room; + 911 call; lost count of MRI’s and CAT scans; not to mention Dr. visits and tests— especially cardiology and neuropathy. The 911 call was for extreme vertigo, but I have since come to believe that was when I got the ischemic stroke that now shows up on MRI. I had Pacemaker operation on July 10. They spent 30-45 minutes trying to push a probe thru my tiny veins to no avail & just closed me up. Had to do the whole dog and pony show all over again on Aug 7 with special vein fluids for expansion to successfully get the pacemaker implanted. Spinal stenosis seems to be causing the numbness that was in my feet and is creeping up my legs, now to my knees (neuropathy), making walking more and more difficult. Finally, that ischemic stroke blocked out a big
‘hole in my brain’ in addition to normal age deterioration. Annette usually drives me to the Dr., but she
was out of town when I visited the neurologist. He said, looking at MRI only, he would expect me to be
at least in Assisted Living, if not skilled nursing or more, and was shocked to learn I drove my self there. Said my ability to cope and compensate around my loss was absolutely awesome and phenomenal. I take 3 times as long to do anything; find it harder to express my thoughts both in finding the right words and right sentence structure. While the world speaks in cryptic tweets, my mind fights to express a more wordy mixture of erudite & simple words and sentence structure. Like I used to do with Bill, Annette helps me express & understand complex concepts with Dr., business, and other stuff. (So if you get this letter late after Xmas, now you know why!) And so I have spent the year truly “aging” from which I will
not ‘get better’ but have a baseline going forward. I deeply appreciate all your inquiries and wishes for
my good health and will give you twitter-length updates henceforth.
Yes, I am still driving, tho never at night. I got my driver’s license renewed and bought my little
red Ford when it’s lease ended in July. My driving days are numbered and I will give up the keys when
I am no longer safe behind the wheel. I now have 2 Council on Aging (COA) aides, 2 hrs. each, every week. My new (in Oct.) Independent Living Asst. (ILA) is really great. Melissa just takes over helping me keep all my accounts, business, etc. straight; observing and addressing my needs. She is now working with COA to get me a more skilled and competent home aide. Cynthia is always reliable & works hard, but “can’t remember” so I have to constantly correct work errors, even after she has been here over a year.
And now to a happy event this fall!
Xavier University has a class: “Psychology of Aging”. Students are paired with a ‘senior’ to mentor
for the semester. I signed up and happily was accepted. Hannah, my student, spent at least 30 or more hours working with me on her project. I got to learn more about college kids today as she learned about life in the past thru the story of my life experiences from the 1930’s depression to today. We settled on
writing about my early childhood (age 0-12) comparing depression times to today – a stark contrast in
driving, parenting, farming and technology. She compiled a memoir book with pictures from my photo
album. Used her smart phone to take pictures of my photos, transferred them with text to her wireless computer and put it all together in a format while sitting right beside me in my living room as we talked.
Wow! What a contrast to the ’30’s and to my hours in the library in the 50’s researching with books and index cards, and a Royal portable typewriter! I got to edit the text and teach her the skill of sentence composing to help her writing skills. It felt good & rejuvenating to recall and exercise my teaching skills again. What a wonderful, cool, uplifting experience.
I still drive to Drama Workshop shows (5) on Sun. afternoon & Playhouse shows (10) on Wed. afternoons. Annette drives Liz Ragouzis and me to Symphony, lets us out at the door where I am picked
up in a transport chair to go to our seats while Annette parks the car. The newly renovated Music Hall is
praised by all and has larger, more comfortable seats, but lost 1,000 seats (from 3200) in the bargain. You can read all about it by looking up Cincinnati Symphony on the internet and following the links. The enclosed picture, thru its caption, tells its own unique story of our friendship thru choir and love of music.
The picture is separate cause I have lost the skills to put it on this letter. It is such a joy to hear from you.
I wish you peace, hope and happiness in the coming year.
CHRISTMAS IN JULY-2018: It is now July 1st, but in March 18 I wrote the following groupEmail to all who had gotten, and those of you who had not yet gotten Christmas cards.